time flies

To everything there is a season,
and a time to every purpose under heaven.
- Ecclesiastes 3:1

so i'm sitting at my computer tonight (like every night now) and i'm making a list of all the stuff i need to do......and i actually had to organize it in an excel spreadsheet, because i'm anal AND because it falls under a lot of different categories.....it helps me to wrap my head around what i need to do if i can SEE it....i may never look at that spreadsheet again, but just DOING it helped me break it down into small enough pieces to tackle.....i'm a list girl.....and a calendar girl....i have PAPER just about everywhere and i usually dont even look at it - but its in the writing it down that it takes shape for me - i write in colored pens and carry highlighters with me everywhere - just one more of my lovely quirks - but it works for me.

what does this have to do with anything?  as i'm writing this list and talking to jake about his SUMMER lax tournaments, i realized that my WHOLE YEAR is almost already planned.....life as i know it ends every year on march 1st when high school lacrosse starts.....its in the spring that lacrosse and soccer overlap.....and just as spring lacrosse is ending, softball and summer lax start....and then before you know it it's fall (when softball gets serious, ironically) and school gets going and fall lacrosse starts ...oh, and FOOTBALL!!  before you know it, its thanksgiving and christmas and i'm looking at 2013 and my SENIOR graduating from high school......i think i'm actually starting to hyperventilate a little.

and that's before we add in all the mundane day to day stuff....and the not so mundane.....my half marathon, the avon walk, our new foundation fundraising, getting recertified, and the inaugural season of our newly founded travel lacrosse team....

i feel like the next time i blink, my boys will all be grown up.....it occurs to me everytime i see a picture of myself holding a baby or a toddler.....WHERE DID THE TIME GO?  you know how you see a picture of your parents when they looked YOUNG?  and now they don't.....well guess what?  thats US now!!!  how crazy is that??

even while i make the attempt to be PRESENT in my moments, i can still look back and realize that time is moving too fast for me to grasp it all.  when did 2 of my kids turn into MEN?  i know i was here for it - and i know i watched it happen....but i still cant pinpoint the moment.....i guess because it was too many moments to see.......even while i'm trying not to miss anything, i still do.....and that's ok - i know i'm getting the highlights.....but it just makes me wonder how fast this next little segment of time is going to go....what's the next thing i'm going to look back on and wonder where it went?  and how much more gray hair will i have when i notice that its gone? 

not that it matters in the grand scheme of things....as long as i can look back and be happy that i was present for all of those moments, then really its all just perspective.  i still get to see my pop everyday - and i'm sure we both have moments where we look at each other and think "damn, where has the time gone".....but it doesn't make any of my memories any less sweet - as a  matter of fact, it actually makes them better - because i realize that the time in front of me is all that much more precious!!!   i KNOW how much time is behind me....but i have no idea how much is in front of me - so i better make the most of it...every stinkin, wrinkle making minute of it!!