big and little things

today  was an interesting day.....its this time of year that i have to sit down with  my older boys and discuss "THEIR FUTURE"..  today is the day that class schedules come out for next year.....this always presents a challenge for us....in my house there is an internal battle within each of us, where the competitive "how hard can and should i push myself" side vies with the "am i allowed to have any fun whatsoever" side....you see, kids today have to worry about crazy things like how much is my class weighted?  so if you have any aspirations of "ranking" in your graduating class, you have to plan your courses out like a general on a battlefield - starting freshman year.....and then not only do you have to "stay the course", you have to do better on that course than anyone else - its INSANE!!  and STRESSFUL....

now i know a lot of people do not have this to stress about - and i'm not saying one way or the other whether thats good or bad - its just a reality in my house....my oldest son has never had a "B"....NEVER....he has made it thru 10.5 years (not counting kindergarten) of advanced classes, ridiculous schedules and incredible workloads....all so that he can get into "the RIGHT college"....and i can honestly say that it is SELF driven....yes, we have always pushed our kids to do THEIR best....but grades were not the answer - i never want my kids to take an easier course to get a better grade....that is absolutely NOT the point of education.....so the fact that jake has always gotten straight A's is a testament to HIS effort and drive....and luke is right there with him...

so we have to sit down tonight and discuss jake's senior schedule - now due to the fact that their is literally a GENIUS in jake's grade, there is really no possible way for anyone other than this kid to be valedictorian....so the "battle" is for second place....the debate becomes, is it worth it to take all AP classes, have zippy fun, all so you can POSSIBLY be salutatorian??  not that 2nd is bad in this case.... but really, you only get to be a senior in high school ONCE - and i'd like to see him enjoy it a bit....  the argument then becomes, if he takes a gym (god forbid), then his POTENTIAL GPA is not as high as it could be and he is almost guaranteed to NOT get the rank he wants.....neither of his choices is WRONG....they just are different....and looking back on this decision, depending on where he gets into college will be a big one - did he do the "right" thing for his future??  and for him, right now, it's one of the biggest decisions he can make....

luke is in strangely the same boat.....in order for him to be in the position he wants SENIOR YEAR, as a sophomore he has no electives....no gym, nothing fun.....and his debate is whether or not to take the only AP offered sophomore year (history), which is not his "area"....luke is my math science guy - he is taking 2 sciences, math, engineering, latin, english and history - all honors - unless he takes AP history ..... if he chooses to NOT take the AP, then his overall GPA potential is not as high as those who DO take it....except he is taking an additional honors course.....so for him the internal debate is to i take an "easier" class (honors history) because of his double science....or does he take the more challenging AP class and then have a ridiculous homework load???  and will this determine his future in any way???

its EXHAUSTING!!  i can't make these choices for them....only they can decide the importance of their choices.....i can weigh in, but ultimately it's their life and their future - and there are NO WRONG ANSWERS.....and its very very very hard for me because YES i want them to be successful....but i also want them to ENJOY high school.....and there is a fine line between the two.

in the grand scheme of life, today is not a make or break day - but its significant for them.....and its the beginning of the choices that they will have to make from this point forward - everything they do will impact their lives....their decisions now start falling into the BIG category....and its scary - for them and for me....now is when you start to see how all of the work you've done as a parent is playing out....what kind of YOUNG MEN are emerging.....and i can honestly say that i couldn't be prouder of my boys because we have these kinds of decisions to make....they are incredible....and smart...and motivated...and dedicated.....and i love that about them.....but i just dont want them to be so serious on their journey that they miss the fun of the ride....

this was my "big" decision of the day.....and for me, from my advanced age and life experience, life is short (hence the tattoo).... so the decisions they are making about school, while incredibly significant to them AT THIS MOMENT, when they look back at high school, they are not going to remember how many AP classes they took - they are going to remember their friends, and their teams...their success on the field.....and all of the fun they had....and yes, they will remember being #2, or top 10, or valedictorian....but somehow those things while defining, are NOT the most important when you look back.....and if a college only wants a kid who did nothing bu study for 4 years, then why would you want to go there, anyway???  college is to learn, yes - but its also to GROW - to have fun, and make mistakes - to cope, and learn balance - its a step on the road to being a grown up....that's all - just a STEP.....just like high school.

i'm afraid in our world today, we are raising a generation of kids who don't know HOW to stop and smell the roses....and that is just as important as working hard - there has to be a BALANCE in life.....there is a place for hard work and dedication....but there is also a place for fun and relaxation.....because one day you are going to wake up, and you are going to lose a loved one, or be challenged by an illness - and you are going to WISH you had taken more time along the road to enjoy life.  THAT is also a lesson i want to teach my kids.....

"You're gonna miss this
You're gonna want this back
You're gonna wish these days hadn't gone by so fast
These are some good times
So take a good look around
You may not know it now
But you're gonna miss this"  - trace adkins lyrics

this song really brings a tear to my eye every time i hear it....if you haven't heard it, you should take a listen....maybe it just strikes me where i am right now - but life DOES go by so fast....and i want my boys to LOVE their life....not just LIVE it.....because one day they are going to blink their eyes and be 40!!  high school will be a distant memory - and TODAY will be the day that MATTERS!! so i am encouraging them, and everyone,  to FIGHT the good fight - for health, for a good life, for their future.....fight for the things that matter, and let go of the things that don't.....you only get to go around ONCE...make the most of it!!

"Remember the past, plan for the future, but live for today, because yesterday is gone & tomorrow may never come"