inappropriate language

****this post will definitely offend you if you dont like bad words....there's my warning :) ******

probably the one thing that may not come thru in my blog (or it may) but that all of my friends know is that i have a mouth like a truck driver.....i'm not sure EXACTLY when it happened, as i've never been the squeakiest of clean with my language, but when the kids were little i was definitely a "whisperer" of bad words.....and no F bombs.....(you can stop laughing now)...

i remember starting down the slippery slope when i worked at captain billys- which is where i learned to cultivate my sense of humor about all walks of life, as well as my affinity for gutter talk.....career waitresses put truck drivers to shame....

where am i going with this?  well, i have a mother in law who doesn't like the word "suck"....and she has a daughter in law who doesn't even consider that in the FAMILY of bad words.....its an interesting situation....now growing up, my parents didn't really cuss in front of us - we had an all girl household, and aside from the occasional "shit" or "damn", id say my parents did an outstanding job of keeping it clean.....what makes that so funny is that when my husband started riding to work with my father, the first thing he said to me was "holy shit, your dad cusses like a sailor"....so apparently it had taken some real effort to reign it in for his daughters....

I, on the other hand, live in an ALL MALE household....and somehow it just doesn't seem as important that we dont say cuss words.....i've always been a giant fan of KNOWING YOUR AUDIENCE (hence the warning above) - its fine to talk to your friends one way, as long as you treat adults with respect, etc....and my kids know when they cross the line because they hear "I AM NOT ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS...." - but still i would say the bayers have a fairly course bantering style - and it makes kris INSANE - you know, the guy who was raised with the mom that doesnt even say sucks.....i'm sure in this one way at least, he thinks i am a failure as a parent....but there you have it.....

i also happen to think cuss words are funny - i am obsessed with the rude e-cards.....i send them to my sister all the time...and occasionally my older kids (that's the bad parent part, right there)....but seriously....HILARIOUS!! this one is rude and horrible and awful and i peed myself laughing when i saw it.... i find when i am having a bad moment, these cards either say EXACTLY what i am thinking, or just crack me up.....either way its a good thing....and either way it is COMPLETELY INAPPROPRIATE for a mother of 3.....

my 3 favorite sayings....jackass (which is actually an endearment), for fucks sake (which my husband stole) and when i am REALLY perturbed - you've got to be fuckin blowin me (now that's SUPER NICE)....i should really be SHOT!!  my dad always used to say that cuss words made you sound unintelligent - and showed a lack of vocabulary....and i'm sure he is right - but i not only have a lovely vocabulary, i'm fairly smart as well - so i think what cuss wordsACTUALLY  make you sound is ANGRY or MEAN....both of which i will cop to :)

now in my defense, i feel like FOR THE MOST PART i dont talk like this all of the time.....just around the ball field and with my friends....and occasionally (unfortunately) at home....but TODAY i made the COLOSSAL ERROR of losing my shit at WORK....now i am lucky that my boss is a friend- i have known him since high school, so i forget sometimes that he is actually my BOSS - and i'm sure i speak to him inappropriately in terms of work - but not from a language standpoint....UNTIL today - when i sent him a text that included the word "dick" and "ass" ..... and NOT in the nice way!!! um HELLO deni.....clearly that is a line that should not be crossed....and i know better - but i let my temper get the best of me - and out emerged the truck driver!!  you see, its another slippery slope.....and one i dont USUALLY think is that bad....but really is.

so here i am, laughing hysterically because i am having an ecard exchange with one of my friends by text - rude, rude and ruder...sooooo unladylike.....not that i ever laid claim to any kind of "lady" status.....but it occurred to me that in terms of my taste in music, my sense of humor, and my language - i never left middle school (ok maybe high school) - and its probably waaaay too late now to fix any of that....and i'm not sure i would if i could.

but i find it really interesting that the same person that can sit here and contemplate the mysteries of faith, and stress over politics also has the vocabulary of a teenage boy - it's a contradictory jumble that i have working inside.....and in the interest of the whole full disclosure/honesty thing, i just thought you should know.....and maybe help a sister out if you hear her slipping any further down the slope :)

Thanks to words, we have been able to rise above the brutes; and thanks to words, we have often sunk to the level of the demons.  ~Aldous Huxley