I hope every little girl thinks that her dad is the very best dad in the whole world. I wish everyone knew what it was like to know that no matter what, her dad would love her more than anything. And i realize that i am one of the extremely fortunate ones. Because not everyone has the best dad. Or a present dad. Dads are human like the rest of us. Some are great. and some are not so great. And today, like every single other day, i absolutely understand that i am the luckiest daughter in the world. And i just want to tell you why :)
He didn’t tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it.
~Clarence Budington Kelland
My dad is there. for every occasion humanly possible. in my 46 years, he has NEVER missed anything important to me. and made pretty much all the not so important stuff too. he coached every team and helped with homework, even when it frustrated both of us. i never FOR ONE MINUTE ever had to question my fathers devotion to me. and that probably wasnt as easy for him as he made it seem to me. My dad had a pretty fun gig before me. He drank and played softball and worked. He bowled and played cards and generally was a super fun 20 something. but maybe he wasnt quite the best dad yet. even though he had 2 little girls. and maybe it took him a little bit of time to come around after baby #3. but he did. regardless of the things that my young parents went thru - and like most of us, they went thru some stuff - they stuck it out. and my dad changed. he could have done what a million other dads do and put what he wanted first. but he didnt. he became the dad that was always there. 90% of the time in a blue elevator union work outfit. not because it was easy. but because he made the time. and i always understood the difference.
My dad made me do the stuff i didnt want to. Not like making my bed stuff (that was my mom). the stuff that i said i would do and then realized it wasnt any fun. the commitment to your team stuff. the pitching in the yard EVERY DAY when i grew to hate it. the you have to show up when you dont feel good anyway stuff. the lesson that maybe he learned later than he wanted to. its not always easy. and its not always fun. but dammit, if you say you are going to do something, then you are. period. and this lesson, while super sucky to learn, has been INVALUABLE in my life.
My dad told me i looked great. always. no matter what. even with the "lion hair". the answer to "how does this look" or "do you like this" was absolutely always positive. he once asked me why i always asked him that stuff when i knew what he was going to say. and i told him that thats why i asked. i could always count on him to make me feel good. how awesome is that?
“Being a daddy’s girl is like having permanent armor for the rest of your life.” – Marinela Reka
My dad found humor in most everything that drove him nuts. And in doing so taught me that most things were not so serious. He was approachable and open and smiled. alot. so he was easy to talk to and hang out with. I know i took that for granted. how easy it was just to BE with my dad. and still is. Hes just a good guy. even when i am annoying him by shaking my leg at the dinner table. or rocking in my chair. or talking nonstop. He handled all of that with a little frustration and a great deal of humor. Which might be why i was never really self conscious about it. I'm sure my parents had plenty of discussions about how hyper i was. but they never said anything. so i never thought it was bad. annoying, yes. bad, no. it was just another part of me. and my dad loved me just the way i was. and he still does :)
My dad demanded the best from me. He pushed me to excel in sports and school. He drove me to camps and clinics. He went with me to Jr Olympics. And he said to me "if you get in to Brown, you are going". period. even though financially it was a giant hardship. not to mention it was 8 hours away. he just believed 100% that it was the best thing for me, even when i wasnt so sure. he pushed me to step out of my comfort zone and expected me to rise to the occasion. and while i knew it was a hard decision, i didnt realize just how HARD it was for my parents to make that a positive for me. the juggling and late night discussions that i wasnt privy to. all i got was a great big, i'm proud of you and yes you are going. Oh, and i'm going to drive 8 hours both ways to watch you play. Because that showing up thing didnt go away just because it was no longer convenient.
I am not ashamed to say that no man I ever met was my father’s equal, and I never loved any other man as much. ~Hedy Lamarr
My dads guiding philosophy may as well be "whatever you need". No one likes to ask for help. But we all need it. Over the course of my adulting, i have needed advice, a shoulder to cry on, and of course, money. None of which are easy to ask for. Or admit you need. But my dad makes it easy. Whether it was can you co-sign my loan for my car, or oh my god i'm pregnant, my dad always looked me right in the eye and said whatever you need doll baby. And he meant it. I know now, as i've always known, that my dad would do absolutely anything in his power to help me. Having that safety net taught me that everything would work out. It might not work out exactly like you wanted it to, but there is always a solution. Thats an amazing gift.
My dad is a fighter. He has a challenging heart. I cant say its a bad heart, because i think its one of the biggest and best hearts ever made. but it doesnt always work the way it should. he had his first quadruple bypass when he was 52. and for the last 23 years he has had more than a few ups and downs with it. At 52, he felt like he was living on borrowed time. and now, at 75, he is making the most of every day. We joke that he is turning in to an old woman. But really, while we give him a hard time, he is still exactly the same guy he has always been. and he is still there for us every single day - in all of the important ways.
Nothing is worth more than this day. ~Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
My dad is also the best grandfather. Every single thing he did for me, he does for my boys. He has passed his big smile, whatever you need, always there presence onto all 3 of my kids and they are better men for it. You can see pieces of my dad in all of my kids. and not just genetically. i mean, they all got some version of the "quill" nose, but they also got in varying degrees his sense of humor, his determination to do whats right, and his commitment to family. his gift to all of us is the legacy i see in my boys every day.My dad showed me every day how important family is. He lived it. Friends come and go throughout our lives. And my dad has had some amazing lifelong friends. but family is the constant. Family is the cornerstone to build everything else around. We make the time for each other because it is important - but i think it became important to US because its important to HIM. We started having Sunday breakfast about 2 years ago. After my dads last very scary hospital stay. we needed one more reason to make sure we got together on the regular. So every Sunday, we go to Ihop. We order the exact same things and talk about all the same stuff. We talk politics and sports. Basically, we do what we have always done - enjoy the time we get to spend together.
My dad loves to listen to the rain. He always has. Maybe it was his version of "taking a moment". who knows. im sure he needed a break from our craziness. now he takes those moments a lot. even without the rain. he is slowing down. And he is making us all slow down a bit with him. Maybe this lesson is one we cant appreciate until we are grown. because stopping to smell the roses doesnt seem that important when you believe you have all the time in the world. and then one day you look up and realize time is moving faster than you would like it to. taking the time to be grateful and to enjoy the moments as they come is the most important thing we can do for each other. i love you Pop xo
The best thing about the future is that it comes only one day at a time. ~Abraham Lincoln
