from an email sent to me today by my sister :)
"you inspire me and make me want to punch you at the same time"
i think i've mentioned how much i love the feedback i've gotten and how wide ranging it has been....but this has BY FAR been the best!! NOW you see why she's my best friend :) and the fact that she ran 5 miles yesterday makes it all the more kick ass!! so i guess the first official shout out goes to you, lisa!! you ROCK!!
the very best thing about having any kind of platform is that you have an opportunity to share things with other people....the challenge with that is that not everything you share will be positive or beneficial.....i'm hoping that in just the SHARING of it all, basically uncensored, that the very least you will get is that either you are not living in your insanity alone....or there is definitely someone out there crazier than you. i am really coming to be more appreciative of this exercise, not only in how it has been beneficial for me, but also in how many people have related to different parts of it. to me writing this blog has become a part of the day i look forward to because it makes me reflect on what i've read and experienced during my day....it is making me "more present" every day, and i sometimes wonder now why i didn't always do this....it's like a food journal....something you know you should do, but you are just not sure you actually want to read what you wrote down!! except i find i'm learning things about myself too -and important things.....especially that i AM capable of looking past the nonsense and seeing the joy. i'm making a bigger effort to make the big picture BECOME my small picture.....bringing it all into focus and enjoying each moment, or as much as i can.
we all watched MONEYBALL tonight - i think i've mentioned that we are not the "eat your dinner together" family....or maybe not......i know every expert on earth, including my mom, thinks its a travesty that we don't eat dinner together, but really its just not my thing. we have always just been so freaking busy at dinnertime, that really dinnertime at my house is mostly about getting everyone FED!! i'm sure i'll get into that another time, but honestly we do other things together....my favorite of which is MOVIE NIGHT!! and its usually not planned - just like tonight.....science fair is over, we all were home, so we decided to grab some blankets (and snacks of course) and watch a movie. i love this for so many reasons, but its so cool that the boys are all old enough to have their own opinions and interact with each other and us. if you haven't seen MONEYBALL you should - its a great story, and its awesome to see how it played out and the decisions and reactions of the people involved. the best part for me is that immediately after its over, luke is trying to google the kid who fell at the end of the movie (of course), josh is repeating his favorite one-liners, and jake is rehashing his love of sports......its a cool way for me to bond with them and to get a glimpse into how they think.....so overall a well spent couple of hours. something maybe i would have enjoyed before this exercise, but i dont think i would have appreciated it.....being PRESENT in these moments is a gift i dont think i paid enough attention to.....and something i hope not to take for granted again.my newest book is called HARDCORE ZEN....i didnt finish it yet (due to movie night :), but i am LOVING IT!! its an irreverent yet honest look at one man's search for "the truth"....which led him to ZEN Buddhism....i'm still not sure how i feel about meditation, but i'm thinking i might eventually get there....and i absolutely love that the principles it follows lead you to INDIVIDUAL responsibility for your life and your actions.....what you choose to believe or practice is secondary to the truth that resides WITHIN you....whether you believe that's a gift from GOD or Buddha or science, you can't dispute that we are all tied together in this universe.....and if we ALL start to THINK for ourselves, and ACT responsibly as individuals, the WHOLE will benefit. we have to stop letting other people THINK for us, and tell us what is right or wrong according to THEIR principles......have your OWN!! its just so INTERESTING to me that there are other people out there who want to SHAKE their government/teacher/priest and say WAKE UP!! things dont have to stay the same just BECAUSE you say they do.....Bill BEANE turned baseball on its EAR with his "theory" of sports management......and people bashed him and resisted it....but he perservered BECAUSE it MADE SENSE to change!! and it was BASEBALL!! people resist ANY change that pushes against their BELIEFS of how things should work!! because we are TAUGHT that someone has to be RIGHT, which means someone has to be WRONG......its CRAZY.....
i sometimes wonder if there was a list of ALL the things that affected us as individuals, as families, and as a society where would "the majority" fall in line? if you didnt have a set of guidelines, or laws, or religion to tell you how you should think or feel about an issue, what would YOU think? how would you CHOOSE to live your life? would you spend any time DEFENDING your position or trying to sway people over to "your" side....or would you just be content that you were living your life as you chose to live it? i'm not saying that society doesn't need structure (i'm not TOTALLY crazy)....i just would be interested to see where people came down on issues if they had to sit quietly and decide....no tv, no book, no internet....just CONSCIOUS, INTENTIONAL thought! what would you choose to teach your children about life? ethics? morals? the planet? responsibility? judgement? progress? animal rights? equality? education? competition? compassion? where do these things stack up on our list? do we even have a list? or are we just content getting through each day, doing what someone else tells us we should be doing? i hope whoever it is that gets to decide what i'm supposed to do, knows what the hell she is talking about :)
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