its funny how you can see yourself sitting in the same place doing the same thing year after year....or maybe that's just me. anyway, its funny because i think we all think, next week, next month, next year i'll finally get whatever it is i'm looking for, when in reality it's ALREADY next week or month or year. TIME is the one constant we all have in common....and it just keeps right on going, whether we are paying attention or not. i need to start paying more attention! it seems like i whenever i'm looking ahead, i invariably look back first....and realize that RIGHT NOW was a time i was looking forward to once. its all so fluid, and it moves so quickly. TODAY was a day i was looking forward to not so long ago, just like tomorrow will be.
food for thought:
TODAY IS THE TOMORROW YOU WORRIED ABOUT YESTERDAY
crazy, right?? we spend so much time looking in either direction, that we dont stop to think about NOW!! and NOW is really all we know for certain we have!! its like when you are in high school and you CANT WAIT to leave....its going to be sooo much better somewhere else....anywhere else! and maybe it is, for a time. but at some point you realize that most places are really just the same....its YOU thats different. a new place means new opportunities and new people - some im sure you take advantage of and some you don't....but its the CHANGE itself that we are looking for. it's like we all carry a little piece of Ghandi...."be the change you most want to see in the world" :) - of course i'm guessing he meant that on a more existential level, but the point works for all of us. we can want things to be better, and think that they will be better WHEN - again fill in your blank.....but the WHEN and IF is already happening....its just passing us by!
i know you've all heard someone older than you say, you just dont realize how quickly time passes .... but its true....even the longest of days you've ever had, seem like they went by in a blink once they are gone. i snapped my fingers and my kid is DRIVING....i'm afraid if i close my eyes he'll be off to college. its just that fast. we spend the first half of our lives waiting for something, ANYTHING to happen....and the second half looking backward and wishing we had enjoyed it more. the only thing we can do is be PRESENT....every day.....because once its gone, its gone - hopefully you have a picture to remind you.....i had to go looking for something on our old computer tonight and realized that i can categorize my life by the stages of technology we used....and its so relevant to how we live. back when you had to actually take a picture with FILM, you had to have the patience to use the whole roll and hope the pictures turned out....then you had to drive to the store, DROP off the film and wait for like weeks to get your pictures back!! but that seemed to be the tempo of life...and i lived in a constant state of ANXIETY for what was next....i couldnt WAIT...for my film, for my pictures, for my LIFE....just HURRY UP already was all i could think.....then we got a digital camera that we downloaded to our computer....we started saving pictures to a big chunky machine that was hidden in my bedroom.....but i could put my pictures there and start making things, but really i still had to go to the store to buy special ink and paper, and it was just so INCONVENIENT and i was just so busy.....this is what i personally refer to as my "forgotten" period....i cant find ANYTHING that pertained to my life during this period - but i'm assuming its all on that same giant magic box in my bedroom :) ..... then came the PDA period.....and of course laptops - so i carried my pictures everywhere but never printed them ever again.....if you want to see what was going on then, you'll have to figure out where the plug is to my ZIRE :) it's at this point life took the turn from HURRY UP, to HOLD UP......i realized i was literally running from moment to moment and that i couldnt remember from one minute to the next what was going on....unless i looked it up on my pda or laptop......THEN of course came the blackberry - ah the blackberry....my first true technology love!! but i spent so much time with my FACE IN IT, that i missed half of what was going on around me....i think this is when i started to realize the curse of technology.....fast forward to iphones and ipads, never being allowed to be inaccessible and i've finally entered the JUST SLOW DOWN ALREADY phase. but nowhere, during any of those phases was i ever in an "AHHH, HOW GREAT IS THIS" place.....and thats just so sad. thats not to say i didnt have great times or dont have great memories...i do, without a doubt. i was so lucky to spend so much of the time when my kids were little with them....but i was always ALWAYS in a hurry. and i realized i dont want to spend the next 40 years looking back wishing i had taken more time to EXPERIENCE each moment. because i'm never getting them back.
“"Live with intention. Walk to the edge. Listen Hard. Practice wellness. PLay with abondon. Laugh. Choose with no regrets. Appreciate your friends. Continue to learn. Do what you love. Live as if this is all there is”
― Dr. Seuss
― Dr. Seuss
my sister the animal lover bought me a great little book several years ago that i read, but wasnt ready for....that i absolutely appreciate now.....its called "guardians of being" and its by eckhart tolle, but illustrated by the mutts guy ...it says "it's so wonderful to watch an animal, because an animal has no opinion about itself. IT IS.....the dog has no self-image, good or bad, so he has no need to play roles, nor does he love himself or hate himself. he has no self" which allows him to be free of that burden. "we have forgotten what animals still know. we have forgotten how to be- to be still, to be ourselves, to be where life is: HERE AND NOW".
i'm just now realizing that being busy every single second of the day doesnt validate me....it just makes me crazy. i'm allowed to sit on the couch and read a book, or pet my dog or watch a movie with my kids....or just do nothing. as long as i experience the moment and take it for what it is. i dont want to spend the rest of my life racing from one thing to the next, only to realize that i never knew where i was racing TO. its the NOW that counts....every minute, every day. every day i waste wishing for it to be different TOMORROW, is a day i'll never get back.....i can still plan for my tomorrows, as long as i am present for my todays!!
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