losing my window

we've all heard that "opportunity knocks", right? well i'm not sure i don't think that it just stumbles along until someone decides its time to pick it up.....opportunities are everywhere, all the time....but most of the time we just don't seem to notice.  or want to notice, for that matter.  change is HARD....i used to write that in black sharpie on my forearm (again, CRAZY), but i'm a very visual learner, and having it written there would remind me every time i glanced down, that i had to be willing to work if i wanted anything to happen.  that seems like such an obvious statement that i wouldn't need a reminder....but i think i often go thru life waiting for the the opportunity to "knock".  sometimes it has, and i've jumped on it....other times it has and i've ignored it - and most often i think i just haven't seen it for what it was.  i think mostly that is what this blog means to me.....it's an opportunity to share something, yes.  but it's also a commitment and an opportunity for me to grow -and it's not always going to be easy.

i'm sure you will all get to know and love my kids thru this journey and i will try not to bore you with details.  however, today's lesson is one i have learned from all of my boys at one point or another, but it was illustrated again today.  luke is my middle child - he is the easy going, unflappable, super smart filling of my family crazy sandwich.  and he is unique - they are all unique, but lucas' especially because he is quiet....luke epitomizes the slow and steady wins the race mentality.  he does things at his pace and in his time, but always gets it done and most often with great success.  luke is the kid who you never have to remind anything - his work gets done, he feeds himself, he pays his own way - sometimes i think he's TOO independent, but that's mostly when i feel like he doesn't need me.  all the other times i'm just proud to be his mom.  now luke is the most like my family in body type....his brothers are super skinny and hyper - they can eat whatever is not nailed down and still weigh 3 lbs....luke, not so much.  he has gone thru what i consider the normal weight fluctuation of adolescence, but is often sensitive about his weight - mostly because his younger brother gives him a hard time.  we've talked for years about his potential - luke has to channel himself, because where his brothers are skinnier, he has the most room to grow strong.  where am i going with this?  i wouldn't call luke lazy - he has played 3 sports his whole life and is very active - but if given a chance to sit on the couch and watch myth busters or go outside and practice, he's usually going to pick tv.

this year, he has seen his opportunity - i think its been there all along, but now HE sees it.  he ran cross country (which had to be so incredibly hard for him, because he runs like me), and is playing basketball.  by themselves those things seem pretty normal.  but for luke, they are outstanding.  he ran cross country knowing that every race he was fighting to "not be last"....it's NOT his thing, but he did it anyway.  and he tried out for basketball knowing that it was going to be a tough team to make - again, it's not his "thing"....but he worked hard and he made it.  and he doesn't play a whole lot, but he contributes and he's happy to be on the team - that defines luke -he's happy to be on the team.....he even hit a 3 pointer tonight :) - and why is this exceptional?  because he did it all so that when it came time for HIS thing, he would be ready.....and his thing is lacrosse.  years ago luke picked his position with the foresight of someone with a supersmart brain - and a huge dislike of running.  he's a goalie - and a damn good one.  he knows its a position that will always be needed, and he knows how to get himself on the team.....but this year, he made a conscious decision to push his own boundaries and to make himself better.....he's working hard, harder than he ever has, so that he can make his own opportunity.  and i'm so proud of him.

so today, as my day started to crumble mid afternoon like they so often do, i wasn't sure that i would have the time to write, or make the time to write, or even find something to write about.  but then i drove down to see luke play. and even though i was late, i still got to see his shot, and the smile that lit him up when he did it.  because not only did he make the team, he's working hard to earn his place.  that's what i need to remember myself.  when a car breaks down, and kids need rides, and work calls, and i don't get to eat - it doesn't mean i have to give in to excuses of why NOT to do something....it means i have to dig deeper for the opportunity to make it work.  and it's not always going to be easy. it's not supposed to be.

"opportunity is missed by most people because its dressed in overalls and looks like work" - thomas edison

so in creating my own opportunities, my biggest challenge is doing things when they should be done....i don't know about  you, but i live with a list of things on a never-ending to do list.  and it ranges from pay the bills to buy ski stuff to plan for vacation - and everything in between.  we all have a million and 10 things to do at all times.  and for most of the non essentials, I've been missing my window.  like the tough mudder of last year, i just haven't made the time when i should have - i didn't make a plan or look for opportunities - i moved from one day to the next just trying to keep up.  and there is nothing wrong with that....its just not the life i want to live.  in order for me to live with intention, i have to do what i say I'm going to do.  i have to commit to it and work for it....and enjoy it.  because i GET TO make the choice of how to spend my time - and everything i spend it on is worthwhile in some way.  i need to stop looking at my life like a window that is closing....that window only closes if i let it! and I'm choosing not to.

short list of things i WILL do this year:  family ski trip in feb, half marathon in march, finish my nutrition recertification by april, avon walk in may.....then softball starts and all bets are off :)