a family tradition

if you look closely at that picture, you will see two things....one, i clearly am NOT following my eating plan when presented with giant yummy cupcakes....and two, i spent my evening at BINGO!! yes, bingo.  why on earth would i do that, you might ask?  well there are several reasons, but i can honestly say that i'm so glad i did.

a little history.....my mom is one of 5 children.....her mom is one of 12....u know the drill -they are all good catholics, and come from a long line of long-lived women.....of my grandmothers 11 siblings, 6 are still living -they range in age from 84-92.  of the 6 still living, 4 are women...and they ALL play bingo!!  barring any complication, on any given wednesday night or sunday afternoon, you will find my nana, great aunt mary, great aunt bo, great aunt june and great uncle fritz's wife janet all at the local bingo hall.  and they are always always always accompanied by my mom :)!!  i would like to say my mom goes to bingo to help out HER mom, but that would be a big fat lie....my mom is OBSESSED with bingo....it's her refuge, so to speak.   its the place where she doesn't have to think or worry about anything but the next number.  and honestly, for a long time, i didn't understand it.  when she started regularly attending bingo, i thought she was crazy - i mean once in a while, sure -but 2 days a week???  we've moved birthday parties and family events around bingo - because unless its really really really important, we are not to mess with the bingo schedule.  now, not only does my mom play bingo....she plays COMPETITIVE bingo - they want to WIN and they pair up to increase the odds!!.(my aunt mary is my mom's partner)....its crazy...but they LOVE IT!!  the part i'm just starting realize is that it's not JUST about the game, it's also about creating time and making memories with HER mom and aunts.....they tell stories, and share food, and they do it every week.....it just so happens to be at the bingo hall.

how did i get involved??  well, a couple of years ago when trying to decide what to do for my mom's birthday, we thought - why not just go with her to bingo??  it's her favorite thing to do and it might be fun.....so that's what we did. and we had fun. and we had the side benefit of spending time with "the ancients" (that's our loving family nickname for my nana's generation - i know, nice).  it's kind of become our new "thing".  on a random wednesday night here and there when we are not playing ball, lisa and i will  go hang out with the ladies at bingo - this week just happens to be mom's bday week (hence, the cupcakes), so that's what we did.  what does all of this have to do with anything, you ask??  i'm getting there :)

now i know we all love all of our relatives, blah blah blah...but you know you all have a special place in your heart for a particular aunt or uncle, right?  well for me that person is my great aunt mary.  she lives across the street from my parents and has for as long as i can remember.  for the half hour my mom worked  when i was in fifth grade, aunt mary put me on the bus...and i have a special place in my heart for her.  (yes, that's her with us in the pic).  now aunt mary is a spitfire....she's always talking and always laughing and so much fun to talk to.....she tells stories about how bad she was when she was young (even though she wasn't) and generally just has the best sense of humor of anyone i know.  when i asked her how aunt june was doing (aunt june is 94 btw), she just said "well you know, she's getting up there".....like she's a spring chicken at 88.  anyhow, she just cracks me up, and i get to drive her home after bingo when i go.  so tonight as we are driving i ask her how her granddaughters wedding was....and we digress onto the topic of our lovely local parish where she was married.  now the other thing you should know about aunt mary is that she is SERIOUSLY catholic....her daughter and granddaughters teach ccd and she's a daily attendee....so we started talking about how things had changed and how they had stayed the same.....and during our conversation she just looked at me and said "deni, you are a good mom -and when the time is right for you to get back to church, you'll know it....just keep doing what you are doing and raising your boys"......now you know i'm definitely not going to start arguing theology with my 88 year old great aunt - so i just said thank you....i appreciate that she doesn't judge me - and loves me for being me.....

and then she told me that it hadn't always been easy for her either.  aunt mary has lost a husband, and also a child.  its the loss of her son that haunts her, as it would any parent.  the church helped her get thru that incredibly difficult time in her life, and it solidified her commitment to it.  but what she said next is really what got me....she just looked at me and said "you know, i fuss at GOD.....when things aren't going the way they should, i let him know it".....and it struck me like an arrow - my aunt mary doesn't just "believe in" or  "pray to" GOD.....she talks to him, like a friend.  she has a relationship with GOD that i really can't comprehend.  and of course, because this is how this has worked out for me so far, the book i'm reading right now is called "the christian atheist".  it's about EXACTLY that.....people who claim to believe in GOD, but don't KNOW him.  and as i'm reading this book, my skeptical self is going "ooookay, dude - who really 'talks' to GOD like that?"  because even when i was a regular prayer, i never really conversed with GOD.....again, maybe i'm the weird one - but i always felt like GOD needed to be put up on a pedestal and revered....you didn't ask GOD for things - you were grateful to him....he certainly wasn't someone who i "fussed at".  but aunt mary does.  she LIVES her faith.  and i find it inspiring.

so how does it relate to bingo?  it doesn't necessarily....but i've come to realize that bingo in and of itself is fun for my mom, yes.  but it's the camaraderie and the time she gets to spend with her family that truly makes it what it is.....for me, its great to get to know those ladies in my family as WOMEN...not just as relatives.  it's amazing what they have to offer, if only i take the time to listen..... so i guess lisa and i will be the next generation to join in the tradition -and we will drag dani kicking and screaming at some point.  because you never get the chance to spend that time once your loved ones are gone.....and as aunt mary says, they are "getting up there" :)

The great gift of family life is to be intimately acquainted with people you might never even introduce yourself to, had life not done it for you.  ~Kendall Hailey