"one day" is today - take 2

this is hopefully going to work this time....i wrote this blog last thursday and then had my site not work and then my computer lock and lost it....so it may not be as good but i'm trying again....take 2

okay so you know when you were younger and people would say "one day" you're gonna be sorry you......well for me it was always things like played so hard or worked so much or worked out so often.....and i would always always shrug it off....because i love to play my sports and needed to work and was pretty obsessed with working out at 20.....i heard my most serious you're gonna be sorry when i had my second knee surgery, after the "you should probably just stop playing speech".....but i've had several - including the you're  gonna be sorry you started waitressing so young from ozite at captain billys where i slung crab trays for 13 hours a day almost every weekend for 10 years.....

but honestly i just never really gave any credence to any of those warnings....who does, really?  but the irony is that apparently today (or actually last thursday :) was that day for me....i woke up just flat out SORRY for all the abuse i've put my body thru over the years......i guess you just cant ignore things that you dont like to hear - altho i'm pretty darn good at it!

You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred.
-- Woody Allen

so why now?  i woke up on the couch, where i sleep pretty much one week a month because my back gets so bad i cant sleep in bed....i guess leaning against the back of the couch is my back's version of comfy.....i also of course have knee issues - which i expected after all the surgery and warnings....but what i wasnt expecting were the rest....my heel is killing me and makes me look like 100 year old grandma every morning when i get out of bed....my first 10 steps every day are absolutely comical.....i'm chalking this one up to the fairly new running habit, but seriously??  so you have at the ripe old age of 40 back, knee, ankle and heel issues.....and some minor hand/arm issues that i mainly ignore....i always joke at softball (when i'm NOT warming up) that i have a finite number of throws left in my arm and i need them all to play!!  which started out as a JOKE, but really feels pretty true at this point!!

what to do about it is the question?  because you know what? i have no intention of stopping any of the things that contribute to my physical demise.....ok, i'd love to give up the sitting in my car for a zillion hours a week, but that's the one i have the least control over....i'm absolutely NOT going to give up softball or soccer or the gym.....running, maybe :)  but not before this year is out and i've hit all my goals for 40 first!!!

“You've got to love what you're doing. If you love it, you can overcome any handicap or the soreness or all the aches and pains, and continue to play for a long, long time.” - gordie howe

this is my philosophy.....life is not going to get any easier.....my body is definitely NOT going to bounce back like it used to....so my options at this point are to suck it up and continue to play/work/lift,  or just stop.....and really would it be worth it?  no way.  maybe in a way its a good thing my original blog wouldnt post because this lesson was completely reiterated today.....it was the first day of spring softball in the county - and my family has almost always had a family team.....it started a million years ago with my parents and we picked it up when my kids were little - and we've had some pretty kick ass family teams over the years - and my pop pitched for us forever.....and today was the first day i actually got to play with one of MY kids....which makes me feel super old, but also really really happy!! what a cool tradition - sports rock for so many different reasons, but especially this one - we GET to share this passion with our kids on a fun level - and show them that YES you can PLAY however long you choose to!!  aches and pains are a part of life....just one more thing that you have to learn to live with.....and really not such a bad trade off in the grand scheme of things

“Pain is temporary. Quitting lasts forever.” - lance armstrong

the answer really is pretty simple - just dont give up.....on any of it - even though sometimes that seems like the best answer....we only get this one go around....and i know for me its worth every achy morning to spend the time i get to play softball and soccer with my friends and family....probably every really true friend i have ever made has been on a field of some kind - why would i ever want to give that up??  i'm going to optimistically hope that someone in the next 10 years invents a way to reinject cartilage into your joints :) then i may never have to stop playing !!  as for work, well that's not an option -and working out - that's not much of one either - since clearly the "stop eating" message refuses to take seed in my head.....so really the only thing i'm currently doing that is contributing to my old ass aches and pains that MIGHT have a foreseeable time limit is the running....because, lets be honest, that's WORK for me....and i'm not getting any better at it.....but i'm still determined to stick it out for the year!!

even if my "one day" IS today, i can still say with all honesty that i wouldn't change a thing - yes i'm paying for all the years of abuse in small ways.....but i dont regret it for one single second....it makes me who i am....and reminds me on a daily basis that these are MY CHOICES....i am choosing to live my life to the fullest that i can....in the ways that make sense to me.....it doesnt have to be the way for anyone else...it just has to work for me!  and my aches and pains remind me that i HAVE lived...and pushed myself....and hopefully made myself better along the way!