13 reasons why

i don't belong to a book club, mostly because i'd rather spend my free time playing softball and when i find a really good book, i usually just tell my sister or michelle (who has a book club) and then just wait for one of them to read it so we can talk it over.....not a great method but it works....and besides, my smut to intellect ratio of reading is very skewed in the smut direction - so i don't read something "striking" all that often....but when i do, i have to say i pick some good ones!!

its weird that after my post from yesterday, i woke up today feeling fine....apparently i really do just need to vent - once these yucky feeling are out, i can let them go.....which is also a nice revelation....so thank you all for being a part of my group therapy :)  when i was out with the boys yesterday, i picked up this book, thinking it was a good topic and probably something we should all read - and its written in a very different narrative style which i found interesting....the boys may not think so, but time will tell.

if you have teenagers, its one of those books you might like to read....it throws a shining light on suicide without glamorizing it, or even demonizing it....it just shows an interesting perspective on what CONTRIBUTES to it.....in our current society where there is so much focus on bullying, i think often we overlook those who are emotionally vulnerable - or bullied in a more subversive manner.....

how many times have we repeated gossip?  or made a judgment about someone based on something that we had heard? even if it was from a questionable source?  how many times have we turned a blind eye when someone was being treated unfairly?  or being ostracized?  how many times have we heard someone say something negative about themselves and not tried to make them feel better?  and how many times have we reached out for help, physically or emotionally, and not received any?

i think the truth is we all feel insecure at times.  we all feel judged.  we all feel like an outsider.  like no one else could possibly understand what we are feeling.  we all want to belong.  and feel accepted.  and loved.  and sometimes we have to find all of those things within ourselves.  no matter how many friends you have, or how great your family is, sometimes you still feel inadequate....for most of us who have a sound base, and a strong will - those times are short lived....but what about those people without that foundation?  do we ever really stop and think about how our actions or non-actions will be perceived in the CONTEXT of that persons life?  what could possibly be a fairly innocent comment, could be just another brick on top of a growing pile that is dragging that person down.....for every "i heard" that's negative, there needs to be 10 "you're awesomes"......thats just life.....and unfortunately, i think the "you're awesomes" are in much shorter supply.....

by no means am i standing on a high horse here....i'm the FIRST person when someone gets skinny to say "i wonder what she's taking" as opposed to "good for her - clearly she has more will power than me"......that's my weight to carry....i KNOW its not nice.....and it comes from my inherent dissatisfaction with my inability to GET skinny (so far :).....thats not a justification - its an excuse.....and one that needs to stop.....we should be praising each others success instead of snickering over failures.....knocking someone down does NOT build us up....it just lowers us all......and i dont know how i can expect my kids to be kind if i am not.  and if reading a book like this opens my eyes to it, then all the better.

In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.

Martin Luther King

we always talk about how we need to build our kids up.....and we do.  its vital to them that they have that sound BASE on which to stand.....because they will definitely face those times in life when they get knocked down.....sometimes it will be a physically slap, but more often it will be verbal.....and those verbal slaps are much harder to recover from....as adults we are no different. and its time we started to look OUT for each other instead of thru each other.

as i write i realize that we are all so intrinsically tied together....we really all are going thru the same things and trying to make things better....no one wants to be sad....or unhappy....or mean - at least i hope not.  we just let our circumstances - or our perceived circumstances drag us down.....and while it is easy to rally around a sick friend, its often our "healthy" friends who feel the most lost.  why not just try to be kind to everyone?  much easier said than done, i know.  but if you're going to set a goal, it may as well be a lofty one!  go big or go home isnt just a sports mantra :)

I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade… And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party.  - Ron White

 life is short....do your best to be happy and to be kind.....only then can you be the sunshine!

i love you guys....thanks for giving me a reason to keep looking for the good stuff, and stop dwelling on the bad!