starting over

last night was kris' 40th birthday party.....so todays blog was going to be about friends and longevity and all kinds of fun stuff....i will definitely come back to that this week because its a subject near and dear to my heart.....BUT we got word this evening that good friends of ours lost their house to a fire today.....and it is a total loss.....can you even IMAGINE what those words must be like?

in times of loss, of course people rise to the occasion - you are always amazed at how WILLING people are to help....these are all topics i've covered already - but worth mentioning....in the next few days and weeks, the community will rally around frank and lori and do their best to help them get thru this horrible tragedy.....but tonight what struck me the hardest was the complete devastation on lori's face when she said "we have NOTHING".....

OF COURSE the most important thing is that they are all OKAY - no one was hurt seriously and that is something they will hear time and time again - at least you are all okay.....and that IS the best way to look at it.....but again, EVERYONE is okay....so what they are focusing on is what was LOST....which is everything tangible...

imagine waking up in the morning.....in a strange bed, wearing borrowed clothes - and having to start from SCRATCH....you don't have your hairbrush or makeup...or your underwear for that matter - none of your clothes ... you can't go make coffee because your coffeemaker is gone.....your kids can't get ready for school because they don't have THEIR clothes or most of their books - no gym uniforms or bookbags.....your every morning decision has been replaced by WHERE DO I START???

every time you go to reach for something, you will realize that you no longer have it....and while  YES in the big picture they are just THINGS, dammit they were YOUR things....and you no longer have the security that having them provides....don't we all have a favorite shirt, or pillow, or blanket - a pair of sweats we've had since college??  GONE....  and that is just in the immediate.....

take a look around your kitchen....if it looks anything like mine, there are drawings EVERYWHERE...pictures and awards and notes - all the things that make my house, my HOME.....these are the everyday memories we make.....every team picture magnet of all of my kids EVER, just to name a few - and in the blink of an eye they are GONE.....and irreplaceable.....they are never going to get back the stick figure drawings and bad ceramic projects from elementary school - or the handwritten mothers and fathers day cards they have gotten over the years.....none of the special notes they've written to each other - or ANY of the pictures that captured moments prior to the miracle of the internet.....no baby souveniers - first shoes or blankets or toys.....i mean ANYTHING that held sentimental value....HOW do you begin to make that okay???

i know that they will be fine - and they will rebuild their house ....people will donate things and they will buy new things....we will collect pictures from the events we have been a  part of and as a community start to rebuild our shared history....and of course family will help rebuild that part of their history.....but there are some things that just cant be replaced....and i just want us all to think about that before we say "at least everyone is okay".....because while this would be a million times worse if that were not true, there is NOTHING easy about the road that lies ahead.

jake and i talk quite a bit about history....and about how its only as accurate as the person that documents it.....essentially what happened today is that frank and lori lost their history....they will never have the same pieces of yesterday that they had before the fire....they might be able to replace some of it, but definitely not all of it - so the way they will look back on the years before today will never be the same......in my mind, THAT is a completely devastating loss - and something i know that lori will mourn....she was a saver - every piece of paper that ever came home with a smiley face was somewhere in her house - and it all meant something to her....we need to remember THAT when we are trying to make her feel better!

i know i keep saying it, but APPRECIATE what you have EVERYDAY.....because in so many unexpected ways, life can change in an instant!!

Nothing in the world is permanent, and we're foolish when we ask anything to last, but surely we're still more foolish not to take delight in it while we have it. W. Somerset Maugham