expectations

“A weakness of all human beings is trying to do too many things at once.” ~Henry Ford

i am a living breathing example of that right there!!  i would go so far as to say if you could peek into my mind (which would not be pretty), what you would see would be endless lists and complete chaos.....and its really funny if you compare what you THINK you can handle versus what you can ACTUALLY handle in any given day....i'm realizing my lack of sleep is directly related to the amount of STUFF i promised myself i'd get done before bed, which absolutely NEVER happens....and then i "escape" by reading.....which i love but really just puts me an hour or two behind....

and i have come to the conclusion over time that while i am a really exceptional big picture thinker (yes, thats a pat on the back), i am a terrible detail person....the MINUTE i have to read or review something i have already moved on from, i absolutely can not concentrate on it.....i want it DONE and i want to MOVE on....i have absolutely ZERO attention span....which may be why i find running such a challenge - because there is NOTHING ELSE TO DO while i'm doing it!!  its impossible to multi-task while you run - so in reality i SHOULD embrace it.....but alas, i can confidently say that after all this time that is not going to happen!!

now i have not REALLY addressed lacrosse in my blog because a) i have very little nice to say about it and b) aside from watching my kids play it, i really have come to hate it - oh wait, maybe those are the same things....and i finally realized why tonight....because i never get to MOVE on....there is no break - this job is NEVER done.....and i just dont function well in that place.....it has very little to do with the sport itself - and of course my husband is the second coming for bringing it single handedly to charles county, blah blah blah - but you can not possibly understand how much of my life revolves around lacrosse.....what i will say is that i am very much looking forward to watching jake and luke play together for the high school this year, and am super proud of lucas for overcoming the odds and proving that he deserves to be on varsity as a freshman!!!  - and josh's team should also be super fun to watch......so its not ALL negative...but aside from that, i got nothin.  and i feel terribly GUILTY about that....because the 4 other people that live in this house absolutely LOVE LOVE LOVE it....eat sleep and breathe love it....so for me to not only not enjoy it, but to dread it absolutely blows.....

now that's a seriously negative point of view - influenced certainly by the fact that i am STILL trying to get the youth league schedule finalized at 11:40 on the thursday night of a very long week....and its been hanging over my head for months.....and is a complete pain in the ass....so on another day, lacrosse is fine -  and i appreciate the space to rant.

so how did this come up? well as usual, i plan out my night so there is no "wasted" time, right?  and i have this crazy run coming up and its a beautiful day, so i decide to RUN after i drop josh at practice....and i immediately ran into one of my favorite people who just happened to be planning to walk during her daughters practice....so we got to catch up....LIVE and IN PERSON....and as we are talking we of course touch on the subject of pressure and expectations....how our kids are growing up with so much WEIGHT on their shoulders from such an early age, and about how they cope.....which leads to how you measure success - and she made a beautiful point....that it really doesn't matter what you did in high school or where you went to college to be successful - if you have a good heart, and gather friends, and take care of those around you, then you are successful.....at which point my son says "well, as a PERSON"...and i realized that we ALL are guilty of that....we think of success on LEVELS....work/school, family, financial - oh and are you a good person.....and it seems the older we get,the more those things reverse in importance....but to the younger generation, they still equate success with going to a good school or getting the right job - and THOSE ARE important things....but they cant replace being a successful PERSON....

He has achieved success who has lived well, laughed often and loved much; who has gained the respect of intelligent men and the love of little children; who has filled his niche and accomplished his task; who has left the world better than he found it, whether by an improved poppy, a perfect poem, or a rescued soul; who has never lacked appreciation of earth's beauty or failed to express it; who has always looked for the best in others and given them the best he had; whose life was an inspiration; whose memory a benediction.  ~Bessie Stanley, 1905, commonly misattributed to Ralph Waldo Emerson

this picture for me epitomizes what i hope equals success.....these young men attended honor society induction and then ran back out to lacrosse to coach the youth teams....they are bringing their LOVE for this sport to the next generation and VOLUNTEERING their time to do it.....but at the same time they are showing their respect for learning and priorities.....and commitment - good boys doing good things.....all the beginnings of long lasting success....as PEOPLE.....

if for no other reason that THEIR love for lacrosse will i stop being such a whiny baby about it....because it is so amazing to watch these varsity players spend time with the younger kids, to pass along their knowledge and passion for the game....and they can't do that, unless  i do the annoying behind the scenes stuff ...ultimately its a trade off, but clearly a good one - sometimes i just need a reminder....and maybe to stop trying to do everything all at once!

Fear less, hope more; eat less, chew more; whine less, breathe more; talk less, say more; hate less, love more; and all good things are yours.  ~Swedish Proverb

(maybe i should have that tattooed on my forehead)