awwkwaard

don't you love when you miss the joke?  or when you walk in to a SUPER awkward situation?  one of my very best friends likes to start making a very loud "LALALALALA" noise every time she's around me and kris when we start to argue.  its funny really - but probably not so much to her.  she's also the the friend that clearly missed the HARD FACE memo in the picture....its very difficult to send a "no seriously, we WILL fuck you up" picture, when one of the people in said picture is smiling and waving....but there you go.  2 of us are gonna fuck a bitch up, and one of us is gonna buy you a beer :) 

what made me think of this?  well a lot of stuff really, but mostly this.  i'm driving josh (my 11 year old) to basketball tonight and he's reading his favorite random facts app.  and whenever he laughs, he reads them out loud to me - so after 2 of these, i say, just read them out loud. and the VERY NEXT "random fact" that pops up?  a CIRCLE JERK is another name for when a group of men MASTURBATE together.  i thought he was going to DIE....of course he stopped after reading "circle jerk" out loud (thankfully), but then turned four shades of purple and said to me "of course that's next, mom".  i'm not sure whether i was more embarrassed that someone would actually think we need to know that or whether my 6th grader knew to stop when he read it....but i won't go there - he is after all my 3rd boy.

AWKWARD:

Synonyms:

clumsy - ungainly - unhandy - maladroit - gawky - gauche

there are just so many stupidly awkward situations.  if you look up awkward, which i did of course, you get a MILLION "that awkward moment when...." quotes.  and unfortunately, i think i've lived them all. and i'm pretty sure i'm not alone (right???).  somehow they are even worse when your kids OR your parents are involved....and i admit, i have a pretty openly funny relationship with my kids, but trying to discuss safe sex or sex in general with your teenage boy is awkward ... no matter what.  of course we live through it all, but you seriously need a giant sense of humor to make it!!

there are alot of different kinds of awkward.  people.  situations.  conversations.  been there done that.  and for the most part, depending on the circumstance, i can either laugh, or just push through it.  i prefer laugh.  because trying to bully through awkward just makes it MORE awkward.  so much so that sometimes you just have to leave....or maybe that's just me.  watching anchorman with my in-laws.....i ABSOLUTELY left the room....watching ron burgundy follow christina applegate thru a news room with a giant woody and trying not to laugh while sitting next to my mother in law (who doesnt think the word "sucks" is appropriate) was too much, even for me.  and i find myself on the random occasion yelling into another room full of 18 year old boys "I'M STILL HERE"....which is funny, and yet still awkward.

i'm going here tonight because i also had a fairly awkward SERIOUS conversation today related to the election.  which is why i HATE talking about this stuff with people.  no one likes to feel awkward.  i dont agree.  period.  that doesnt mean i wont listen.  but a lot of you have met me - its going to take more than a few texts about ANYTHING to change my mind.  so let's just agree to disagree and move on.  and when we can't?  THAT is how things digress from awkward to uncomfortable to unsalvageable. luckily today went from uncomfortable to silent :)  friendship saved!!  but there are just some things you don't recover from, or at least not easily.  and isnt that the most miserable feeling.  no matter what, after something ridiculously awkward occurs, dont you just beat yourself up....i shoudve said or done whatever.  maybe its just me and i'm weirdly obsessive, but the AFTER awkward for me is even worse than the actual moment.  i did mention i was crazy, right?

anyhow, i thought maybe today, since yesterday was so stressful on so many different fronts, i'd try something a bit more interactive and NOT serious....and see how it goes.  so post here, on facebook, or just text or email me your "favorite" awkward moments.  see if you can beat me and my "circle jerk" night :)  believe me, it'll be good for a laugh - and i think we all could use one :)