“The grass may be greener on the other side of the fence but you still have to mow it.” Proverb quotes
lets be honest - i am NOT a domestic diva....i could care less about having the right furniture or the nicest kitchen....my house to me is just a place that we all get to live in and spend time together.....i love it for its function, not its appearance....i am not a pottery barn shopper and never will be....as a matter of fact the only thing i usually notice about my house is how much dog hair has accumulated in between the times i've found to vaccuum....that's not to say i want to live in an unattractive or dirty space, i'm just not super concerned about it being a showplace of any kind....i just want it to be comfy and welcoming.
its funny what you get used to....i know i've said several times that i'm great at starting things....well that applies to house stuff too....we have about 6 fairly small house projects that will never actually be finished - and i'm sure it drives my parents batshit insane that i have had a fairly large piece of drywall missing from the entrance to my family room (where we busted it moving a couch) that may never get fixed....so if you are sitting at my kitchen table and happen to glance over, you see a big old chunk of metal....but you see, i just dont really get bothered by that stuff.....i'm sure that makes me lazy somehow but i honestly just dont care.
so if you look at the inside of my house and think "lived in", you look at my yard and think "white trash"....no question about it.....i'm the chic with the yard that at any given time has 9 dodgeball strewn about, that are supposed to be in the trampoline (which is also in the yard).....we have at least one bike left outside, various articles of clothing that were tossed aside during one bounce, and of course TWO basketball hoops - oh and 4 cars.....and in another week or two, there will be bases that we leave in the front yard all summer....super super attractive.and then there is the yard itself.....i am ANTI-yard work like you would not believe....we do not mulch anything or plant anything that cant be very easily yanked out.....i have never thrown down grass seed or weed killer of any kind - i have a kind of "live and let live" agreement with whatever grows in my yard....the irony is that i can grow just about anything in the 2x10 foot plot in front of my garage...its actually comical - i throw out sunflower seeds, a few tomato seeds, and whatever else josh picks out, and by mid june i have a full on garden in the space where my GARAGE DOOR used to be!! ridiculous....
why am i rambling about this? well, because i also live in a place where everyone on earth sees my house and yard...so i feel morally obligated to cut the damn lawn fairly regularly....ok yes i have 3 boys, 2 of whom can cut the grass - but its lax season and of course they are all super busy.....so lawn care, such as it is, falls to me right now....i have a hate hate relationship with my tractor, ever since kris broke a hook of some kind and melted our lid to the engine.....of course, being us, we just took off the lid and now we sport a lidless, engine displaying hoopty lawnmower....its awesome!! and ridiculous....and i never understand why people who run or ride or walk by are laughing when they see me on it!! today was especially fun because we just got it back from the repair guy.....who assured me it was good to go....to which i can now say MAYBE he's right....but i spent 2 hours riding my lawnmower, with no lid, billowing white smoke and cutting out every other turn....it was entertaining to say the least.
and of course it made me think.....i should probably just go buy another lawnmower.....we need one ( obviously), and i have ZERO patience for things that dont work.....but i just cant seem to bring myself to.....just like i'm never gonna fix my drywall....these little quirky things DEFINE my life....as long as i can keep getting them to do the job, then they are good enough for me... you see, i'm realizing more and more that its all about comfort.....and while i wouldnt necessarily categorize myself as someone who stays in their comfort zone, i am learning that i like to keep my surroundings pretty comfortable.....and by that i dont mean just cozy or soft - i mean WHAT I EXPECT.....while it may annoy me that my tractor looks ridiculous, i know what settings i use and where it fits in the shed, and that if i'm nice enough to it, it will come thru for me. and somehow if i replace it with a nice new shiny tractor, i'm going to have to change my routine - because a nicer tractor will demand more attention, right?!! where my crappy little tractor is fine just staying under the radar :) just like my kitchen drywall.....you know if i fix that drywall i'm gonna have to paint my whole kitchen - which means changing my pictures and needing new stuff to hang up.....but right now, i dont need to do any of that - i just need to ignore the hole!
its a pretty ridiculous philosophy when you think about it....but it works for me.....i may be a little broken....and i could definitely use some patching up....but at my center, i'm still gonna get the job done....and its okay that i may be a little worse for wear.....and that my outside isnt as pretty as it used to be - because on the inside i am still me - and i get more comfortable with that everyday :)
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