seasons change

change is a very funny thing.  often it happens and you dont even notice.  i'm not sure whether its chance, or choice, or a combination of both, but it seems that this fall i'm starting to get a glimpse of a very different place.  and the lesson that has been such a challenge for me, seems to be coming a lot more naturally for the boys.  the only direction you can move is forward.

this year, for the first time EVER in the history of bayer sports, i dont have a single person playing any kind of team sport.  well, i mean aside from fall lacrosse, but that doesnt even really count anymore....no football, or flag football, or soccer.  what i do have is an actor and a singer and a movie maker.  and how freakin cool is that?  i would NEVER in my wildest imaginings thought that THE ARTS would take center stage in my house.....and for the most part it seems to have been just a natural evolution.  wrapped in some interesting choices.

for jake, blowing out his knee as a freshman was devastating.  as it would be for anyone.  and at that time, sports were his only passion - like everyone else in this house.  he bounced back and threw himself back into it - and then the second knee injury.  at that point, he had a real choice to make.....because clearly his mother passed down hellacious knees along with everything else.  he could either wallow in what he COULDNT do, or look for something he could.  i guess at this point i could back up and say, jake was always always always great in front of people.  and loved to act.  but when he was 11 and asked to try out for encore kids, we were playing 3 sports and travel baseball.  and he chose sports.  it wasnt even a choice really, just more of a given.  but 5 years later, that lingering interest jumped back up.  and he realized that while he still loved to play, he had to broaden his horizons a bit.  and theatre jumped back up.  in his first outing last year, he got one of the only 8 roles in the fall play....and a supporting role in the winter play. and this fall, i am so super proud to say, he got the lead in great expectations.  and i'm waaaay more excited about that than i ever was about football!!!

probably an even bigger shock to me, is that my super quiet, under the radar luke bayer decided to share with us that he could beat box.  now its always been a funny thing in our house that luke knows every word to every song and can rap along with anybody -no matter the speed.  go figure.  but i had NO IDEA that he had any serious interest in music.  because of course, we are not music people....we are sports people.  and obviously i didnt know you could be both :).  luke has always been the least "out there" of my kids.  and he always always quietly goes about his business....and takes care of everything himself.  he's the one who decided with zero prompting or conversation to run cross country instead of play football.....he knows what he needs to do to get where he wants to go.  i love that about him.  so i shouldnt be surprised when he just quietly says "hey mom, did you know i can beatbox?"  and when i asked him about trying out for unplugged at laplata - he just says "yea, that's what i was thinkin".  and moves on. like its no big deal.  sure, i'm just gonna go put myself out there in an acapella group.  how cool is that?

and josh opted out of football himself this fall.  big move to middle school and all.  he's perfectly happy to play some lax on sundays, and work on his movies.  he constantly asks me to read his "story lines" or even funnier to upgrade his software so he can SERIOUSLY edit his work.  i have NO idea what he's talking about, but i certainly expect him to show up one day and tell me hes got a full length feature film done. and of course, there will be lots and lots of camo in it.

The only way to make sense out of change is to plunge into it, move with it, and join the dance. -Alan W. Watts

the point in this very long winded story is that my kids are just moving on.  looking around, seeing whats out there and embracing the changes.  and i absolutely LOVE that.

so i'm trying to take a page from their book.  embrace whats around the corner.  i cant stop time.  i cant go back. BUT I CAN move forward....willingly and joyfully.  i can look for whats new, not whats lost.  and i can see what else there may be in store for me. it seems i'm not "just" an athlete.  i'm also a writer. and a runner. and maybe, just maybe something more. 

i'll have to think about it on saturday at my first kickball game :) cuz u know i aint changin THAT fast !!