seasons change

change is a very funny thing.  often it happens and you dont even notice.  i'm not sure whether its chance, or choice, or a combination of both, but it seems that this fall i'm starting to get a glimpse of a very different place.  and the lesson that has been such a challenge for me, seems to be coming a lot more naturally for the boys.  the only direction you can move is forward.

this year, for the first time EVER in the history of bayer sports, i dont have a single person playing any kind of team sport.  well, i mean aside from fall lacrosse, but that doesnt even really count anymore....no football, or flag football, or soccer.  what i do have is an actor and a singer and a movie maker.  and how freakin cool is that?  i would NEVER in my wildest imaginings thought that THE ARTS would take center stage in my house.....and for the most part it seems to have been just a natural evolution.  wrapped in some interesting choices.

for jake, blowing out his knee as a freshman was devastating.  as it would be for anyone.  and at that time, sports were his only passion - like everyone else in this house.  he bounced back and threw himself back into it - and then the second knee injury.  at that point, he had a real choice to make.....because clearly his mother passed down hellacious knees along with everything else.  he could either wallow in what he COULDNT do, or look for something he could.  i guess at this point i could back up and say, jake was always always always great in front of people.  and loved to act.  but when he was 11 and asked to try out for encore kids, we were playing 3 sports and travel baseball.  and he chose sports.  it wasnt even a choice really, just more of a given.  but 5 years later, that lingering interest jumped back up.  and he realized that while he still loved to play, he had to broaden his horizons a bit.  and theatre jumped back up.  in his first outing last year, he got one of the only 8 roles in the fall play....and a supporting role in the winter play. and this fall, i am so super proud to say, he got the lead in great expectations.  and i'm waaaay more excited about that than i ever was about football!!!

probably an even bigger shock to me, is that my super quiet, under the radar luke bayer decided to share with us that he could beat box.  now its always been a funny thing in our house that luke knows every word to every song and can rap along with anybody -no matter the speed.  go figure.  but i had NO IDEA that he had any serious interest in music.  because of course, we are not music people....we are sports people.  and obviously i didnt know you could be both :).  luke has always been the least "out there" of my kids.  and he always always quietly goes about his business....and takes care of everything himself.  he's the one who decided with zero prompting or conversation to run cross country instead of play football.....he knows what he needs to do to get where he wants to go.  i love that about him.  so i shouldnt be surprised when he just quietly says "hey mom, did you know i can beatbox?"  and when i asked him about trying out for unplugged at laplata - he just says "yea, that's what i was thinkin".  and moves on. like its no big deal.  sure, i'm just gonna go put myself out there in an acapella group.  how cool is that?

and josh opted out of football himself this fall.  big move to middle school and all.  he's perfectly happy to play some lax on sundays, and work on his movies.  he constantly asks me to read his "story lines" or even funnier to upgrade his software so he can SERIOUSLY edit his work.  i have NO idea what he's talking about, but i certainly expect him to show up one day and tell me hes got a full length feature film done. and of course, there will be lots and lots of camo in it.

The only way to make sense out of change is to plunge into it, move with it, and join the dance. -Alan W. Watts

the point in this very long winded story is that my kids are just moving on.  looking around, seeing whats out there and embracing the changes.  and i absolutely LOVE that.

so i'm trying to take a page from their book.  embrace whats around the corner.  i cant stop time.  i cant go back. BUT I CAN move forward....willingly and joyfully.  i can look for whats new, not whats lost.  and i can see what else there may be in store for me. it seems i'm not "just" an athlete.  i'm also a writer. and a runner. and maybe, just maybe something more. 

i'll have to think about it on saturday at my first kickball game :) cuz u know i aint changin THAT fast !!

reach...

Man performs and engenders so much more than he can or should have to bear.  That's how he finds that he can bear anything.  ~William Faulkner

like so many people today, i spent a good deal of time reflecting on where i was and how i felt on 9/11....i actually watched the entire today show replay from that morning, and could picture EXACTLY what i was doing at each moment, and what was going thru my mind.  its one of the only events in my life i can really say that about.  and while i can only imagine what those who lost loved ones continue to go thru, i can still remember an honest FEAR the likes of which i hope is never repeated.  at that time kris' office was about 3 blocks from the white house, and i just wanted him HOME and safe.  it seemed like the minutes of that day ticked by slower than any other day i can remember. and the days and weeks that followed were marked by endless stories of tragedy and sorrow....which elicited the same sense of disbelief and mourning in every person you talked to.

and yet, there were also stories of incredible bravery. and a sense of togetherness.  for that one single moment in time, we were united as a country in our need for one another, and our desire for justice.  and again, its the only time i can remember having one single common goal.  and i cant help but think how sad it is that the only thing that seems to unite us is tragedy. 

then i wonder what, if anything, we have learned from it?  yes we have increased our security, and changed some processes.....but did we really ABSORB the loss of that day, or did we just move on?  because to me, the most significant lesson is that hate breeds.  it breeds contempt.  it breeds fear. it breeds violence. its a disease that infects anything good around it.  and once let in, its almost impossible to expel. and for a while there it seemed like we got it.  as individuals, as a community and a country.  but like with most things, time creates a distance.  and we start to forget.  we can say we don't forget.  and for those who lost loved ones, i know its true.  but for the rest of us, we let bitterness creep back in.  we let our differences of opinion drive wedges thru the common good.  we invite hate in.  which can only lead to ruin.

i wonder why loss of life seems to be the one thing that gives us the ability to set aside differences.  i imagine its because we can all empathize with loss.  we understand what it FEELS like and for at least a moment, we give each other a pass.  unfortunately it doesnt last.  we live in a vast and diverse country.  a country founded on freedoms and individual rights.  and when THREATENED, we come together.  but our unity is short lived.  its amazing how fast our focus returns to what divides us.

we are never going to agree as a people on issues of religion or politics. and i'm okay with that.  difference of opinion is not a bad thing.  its how we grow and learn from each other.  its the way we treat each other when confronted with those differences that challenge us.  its when we let hate guide us that we falter.  you can BELIEVE anything you want.  that is your RIGHT.  what you can not do is allow your BELIEF to be more important than mine.  you cant allow your BELIEF to belittle someone elses.  you cannot allow your BELIEF to breed hate.

to me this little speech epitomizes what we SHOULD be striving for...it's from "the american president"

America isn't easy. America is advanced citizenship. You've gotta want it bad, 'cause it's gonna put up a fight. It's gonna say, "You want free speech? Let's see you acknowledge a man whose words make your blood boil, who's standing center stage and advocating at the top of his lungs that which you would spend a lifetime opposing at the top of yours." You want to claim this land as the land of the free? Then the symbol of your country cannot just be a flag. The symbol also has to be one of its citizens exercising his right to burn that flag in protest. Now show me that, defend that, celebrate that in your classrooms.

the enduring lesson of 9/11 should be that we are ALL vulnerable.  we all are only given this ONE life.  and we need to focus on what UNITES us, rather than what pulls us apart.  and you have only to watch or listen to ONE MINUTE of this election coverage to realize how very far we have come from 9/11.  we have lost our way.  we dont embrace our differences.  we dont listen to other opinions.  we cannot be swayed from our singular points of view.  we are creating a culture where animosity thrives, and peace is stifled.

i can only use myself as an example...which i hate to do with politics - but hopefully you'll get the point.  i'm anti-organized religion personally but absolutely believe in freedom of religion.  i am absolutely pro-choice politically, but personally pro-life. i believe in small government AND social programs.  i am totally for equal rights across the board...because WHY NOT?  ultimately it doesnt hurt me in any way for you to believe differently than me UNTIL you IMPOSE those beliefs on me.  i'm a total contradiction.  like most people i think.  which is fine....until we let those differences in fundamental beliefs breed hate. how does it enlighten me or help me to bring you down?  to belittle your beliefs?  why cant we agree to disagree?

Matthew 7:1-3

7 Judge not, that ye be not judged.

² For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again.

just because i'm not into organized religion, doesnt mean i'm not allowed to quote the bible....and just because i quote the bible, it doesnt make me religious.  you cant label me.  i mean, you CAN.  but you would be wrong.  i'm not any ONE thing.  no one is.  and until we stop trying to label one another, we will continue to struggle. 

lets hope (or pray if that's your thing) that it does not take another 9/11 to make us come to our senses as a nation.  because the one thing i know for certain is that every single person that lost a loved one that day would give ANYTHING to have them back - regardless of where they stood on anything.  its not the politics that count...its the PEOPLE.  and we need to remember those people every single day.  reach for them when we want to say a harsh word, or criticize someone elses beliefs.  reach for love. not hate.

"If the people we love are stolen from us, the way to have them live on is to never stop loving them"

puppy love

fate is a funny funny thing.....and even through all of my rants and craziness, i have a fairly deep seated belief that things happen for a reason.  or dont happen, such as it is.  along with all of those others happy happy cliches like when one door closes another one opens.  i feel like "why not" believe it....it certainly cant hurt, right?  and its along those lines that we ended up the happy FOSTER (you can laugh any time) parents to yet another puppy.  his name is either carlos, broseph or bruno - depending on whether you ask the girls who left him here, jake or the rest of us - but he answers to all of them, so i'm not sure it really matters.  the point here is that, while i was CLEARLY NOT looking for another dog, it seems i have one.  so why not just embrace it?  and really, the funniest part is that this freakin dog ALREADY acts like hes lived here forever.  he follows cooper and lila around - fights for food, jumps on my furniture, drags shoes around and prefers to chew socks over anything else....so he was obviously just waiting for someone to drop him off HERE :)

somehow, somewhere along the line, we became the house of "the more the merrier".....apparently it applies to kids, friends, dinner guests, lax bros, and stray animals.  and i wouldnt have it any other way....altho i think this latest addition pretty much guarantees that my mother will NEVER step foot in this house ever again.  its really all a part of my overall adapt and roll philosophy.....coupled with the firm belief that it is our responsibility to take care of whomever we can.  while i can most definitely be the bitchest chic in town, i also cant honestly think of a time when i wouldnt lend a hand to really anyone who needed it, if it was within my power to help.  and i think i'm just like all of you out there.  now i know that a lot of people arent "animal" people.....so maybe the whole pet rescue thing doesnt apply.  but here at casa bayer, we are apparently equal opportunity elves.  and in just the last couple of days, the antics of the 3 dogs have made me laugh more than i can remember recently (aside from when i related the whole slamming of my finger in the door story to my sister....who probably peed herself laughing).....and this levity has come at a time when i really need it.  its hard to stay mad when you are trying to chaperone 3 dogs, especially when one weighs 130 lbs, one weighs 40 lbs and the third weighs 5 lbs.  its like having my very own travelling circus -since all 3 follow me around and jockey for position at every turn.

i guess the most interesting thing is that bruno just fits.  its like he's always been here.  he is now a part of the bayer borg - he has been assimilated and will now become a part of the continuing chaos.  we certainly didnt (and dont) have to keep him.  but we can.  and i think thats a good enough reason to at this point.  so it means i'm going to be 5 minutes LATER than i always am, and that there will be a bit more dog hair in the house.  and that we will now have to listen to 3 different incessant barks when people walk, jog, stroll by.  but none of those reasons outweigh the fact that he just makes everyone smile.  and right now, anything that brings a smile gets to stay :)

the ugly, the bad and the good

i should have known when i slammed my own finger in the sliding glass door at 6:15 this morning that it was going to be a really really long day......unfortunately, i think i blocked it out because it actually hurt enough to make my eyes water....AWESOME good morning to me present.  and it just never got better....although it had real potential.

by now you all know about my love for and slight obsession with sports.  its a vital and integral part of my entire family's personality.  and for the most part, sports are a true joy, in all senses of the word.  HOWEVER, today was a glaring example of what i feel are the worst trends in sports today......let me apologize in advance for the rant.

Affirmation without discipline is the beginning of delusion. Jim Rohn

today was the first day of fall lacrosse.  i really wont go into too many specifics, but suffice it to say within the first 6 minutes of the "varsity" game today, ONE SINGLE PLAYER was given 3 penalties for slashing and called the ref an "old fucking geezer" IN FRONT OF THE SIDELINE FULL OF PARENTS!  he went on to threaten to take out jakes other knee, jab a defender in the stomach, and slash another player so hard he may have broken his thumb through the gloves.  he made extremely derogatory remarks, again in front of the parents, about the team, the school they represented and individual players.  you want to know the best part?  his coaches (who were admittedly young) HIGH FIVED him every time he came off the field.  oh and he has a scholarship to play D1 lacrosse already.  so this SHINING EXAMPLE of class and sportsmanship will be the recipient of a free education, when what he really deserves at the very least is a good swift kick in the ass.  and dont get me started on his parents.  WHERE do these kids get such a sense of entitlement??  lets see - they are recruited as sophomores, and taught that because they "excel" at a sport, they no longer have to be decent people.  they are ABOVE the rest of the crowd.  they get special treatments and their coaches and parents make special allowances for them....again, all because they can play a game better than their peers.  THIS is whats wrong with our society today.  that kids parents should not only have to pay for his education - he should have to START OVER - because clearly the only lesson we are really taught in kindergarten (you know - the golden rule) never really sank in for him.

and then there is dematha.....the highly touted CATHOLIC high school renowned for their sports.  they travelled out of state for a football game and at least 5 of their players HIRED PROSTITUTES and snuck them into their hotel room after last bed check.  im not even sure WHERE to start with that except to say what kind of high school kids think not only that its OKAY to higher hookers, but that they wont be caught???  the best part?  the  PARENT of one of the kids in trouble was PISSED because the CHAPERONES weren't doing their jobs...... the chaperones????  how about the PARENTS???  it truly worries me that we are creating a generation of kids who truly believe that ALL BAD BEHAVIOR will be excused for those who are superior athletes.....and why wouldnt they?  we revere our athletes and scorn our teachers.  we excuse our children rather than discipline them.  its truly truly frightening.

 "Do you know what my favorite part of the game is? The opportunity to play."  Mike Singletary
jump ahead a few hours and now its MY turn.  we are in the playoffs for our softball league.  and when i say the FANS at this game tonight were obnoxious, i mean if i had an uzi they'd all be dead obnoxious.  i'm used to a certain amount of heckling...which in and of itself is RIDICULOUS in an adult softball league (but that's another stupid story).  but today was really beyond even my cynical imagining.  and i guess after the jackass kids performance in the morning, i was just out of any kind of patience.  i dont understand when sports STOPPED being about just playing the game, and became a venue for "us against them".  it was truly hateful.  and its supposed to be FUN!!!  if you are paying me to play, then i GUESS to some degree handling the bullshit craziness of the fans is a part of the JOB....but this is supposed to be RELAXING for those of us out there playing for reasons other than cash......love of the game, even!  i just want to know when sports became the end all be all in how we judge our kids and each other.  if you need to yell, try to scare and intimidate, and generally make a scene in order for your team to win, then seriously you should stop playing.  or coaching.  or spectating.  because clearly you have lost any and all perspective you have on what is important in life.....if you ever even knew in the first place.

the flip side of all of this horrible behavior?? all of the amazing examples of great sports, great games, amazing kids who do their level best to set a good example - as athletes and as people.  you have the guys who participate in a homerun derby for the wounded warrior project, and who are honored by the presence of those soldiers.  you have the kids who show up at the football game sporting painted chests, just to be there for their friends.  you have the hundreds of over35 players who showed up to play this weekend, just so freakin happy to still be playing!  and then you have the 200 people who showed up at the youth lacrosse day today - to try the sport for the first time, or help out, or support their kids.  it truly made me wonder when the slippery slope starts its slide.....these kids today were just happy to be there.  for the most part.  i'm pretty sure that one or two of the older ones have already started hearing that they are better than this.  that they deserve more.  that they should go play someplace better.  because its no longer about the love of the game. its about us vs them.  and its a damn shame. 

i wish there was a way to bottle good sportsmanship.  i wish there was a rational way to explain to my 17 year old that being a good person and a great student will result in him having student loans,  while a derelict with a great lax shot will have his choice of higher education. not that the education will do him any good.  i know part of the lesson is always that life isnt fair.  but at what point will we start to say enough is enough?  it IS more important that you at least attempt to be a good person.  that you excel in SCHOOL.  that you treat others with respect. 

i am so DISAPPOINTED today.  i really feel like today was a tipping point for me....where i'm really really close to losing all respect for and hope in sports as an institution.  where i have always believed you learned so many great life lessons on the field, for the first time i also feel like now kids are being taught so many detrimental lessons.  and that my friends is how i know i am officially an old fucking geezer.

boys are crazy

i admit that there are a ton of things i dont understand about boys....but tonight i was witness to probably my top 2.  which is saying something, considering i live with 4 boys.  lets just start with the whole sense of humor thing...AND how very very very different generally boys and girls senses of humor are.  now picture all of us sitting somewhere between 2 rooms....in those 2 rooms are 2 fairly large tvs, 2 laptops and a mac....but OBVIOUSLY the best place for 4 people to watch you tube videos is on kris' phone.  which they did....for like 20 minutes.....laughing hysterically.....at what, you ask?  family feud's biggest fails (name an animal with 3 letters in its name?  FROG.....ALLIGATOR???).  not that it wasn't funny.  it was.  maybe not quite as funny as they all seemed to think.  but here's my question?  WHY the PHONE??  and WHY during the football game that they are insisting i watch??  i'm pretty sure we all would have enjoyed it more on a bigger screen, and without kris yelling in between each answer at the tv.  maybe its just me.  and while i definitely appreciate that all of the boys were sitting here laughing at the same time, it just makes me wonder WHAT in the HELL are they DOING???

and of course tonight is football night.....let me prefice this little rant with i am a huge fan....not a stupid jersey owning facebook posting fan, but i enjoy the sport and usually like watching the games.  i've been a redskin fan thru good times and bad, starting back in the riggo days when sports were fun to watch and our teams were consistent (but that's for another time)....my husband is a cowboys fan - and i'm not sure how that happens to a kid from upstate ny, but there you go.  so my house is one divided....2 cowboy fans and 2 skins and 1 chargers fan (dont ask).....the thing that makes this so CONFUSING to me is the onset of FANTASY FOOTBALL.

here we are watching the cowboys/giants.....picture my husband and son, both SERIOUS - and i mean sitting here yelling at the tv serious - cowboys fans.....BUT they have the giants running back on their fantasy team.  here begins the dilemma.  romo throws an interception....kris starts yelling.  giants get the ball at the 3 - he starts chanting "give the ball to bradshaw"(the giants running back)....and then when the cowboys stop him, he's jumping up and down.  it's like sitting next to a schizophrenic toddler.  this is definitely one of those when i feel like i live on a different planet.  i want to say - can't we just watch the damn game?? and what's more important??  do you want your "team" to win??  or do you want more points for your fantasy team??  there's no loyalty i tell you...none :)   and whats more, they yell at ME when i put on the DNC convention DURING COMMERCIALS.   god forbid i attempt to stay informed and possibly open-minded!!  its football season after all....why should anyone care what else is happening in the world??  who cares about a pesky election??  it boggles the mind.  AND I'M a FAN!!  i can only imagine what those women out there who truly dont like sports think about football season.  THOSE houses can't be a whole lot of fun.

i guess the other side of the spectrum are the lovely ladies who participate in fantasy football.....i think maybe next year that's the best option....then i will have a reason to yell at the tv every week, and insist on changing the channels every 6 seconds so i can monitor my scores.  anybody else want in, just let me know :)  otherwise i may just have to start hiding all of the remotes......and see how much yelling at the tv i can make happen that way :)

let teddy win

after quite a few fits and starts lately, i'm actually starting to TRY to get a hold of myself.  because not only do i realize that i'm quite lucky, i'm really beginning to understand that even more important than me being able to cope with all the craziness, my kids may actually GET IT.  and THAT is worth all of this internal (and external) mental strife.  and i am seriously just coming to understand that by NOT trying to keep this all bottled up, my kids are gaining some perspective as well.

jake sent me this picture by text the other day....you know - the day last week when i was on the verge of losing my shit yet again.  and i hope its one we will send back and forth from now until the end of time....because ultimately HAPPY is everyone's goal.  i need the reminder when i stress about work and balance....and he needs the reminder as he weighs his options for next year.  it all seems so monumental in one moment....and then in the next, something else comes along to show us that in the grand scheme of things, its just another thing to be dealt with.

and aside from the rash of nervous breakdown type behavior - i generally do have a pretty good eye on the prize.  i just need a reminder now and then.  my grandfather is 89.  and he is very very close to the end of the line.  he's the guy growing up that always said stuff like "dont jump in the pool....the water will splash out"...but he's also one of the neatest men i know.  he was in the original class of navy frogmen, and a dc fireman.  he's been retired my whole life, and if i do say so myself, i have always been his favorite.  he was always this incredibly robust man that had a full gray beard and looked like santa.  he still wears suspenders every single day.  and while they used to keep his pants up, they now keep them from falling down. he is literally wasting away.  and its so so sad.  and the worst part is that i havent spent nearly enough time with him in the past few years.  the boys got bigger, we got busier, he got more forgetful and less mobile, and time just seemed to tick away.  so when we went to see him yesterday, it just brought it all home that you just can't take life for granted.  pappy has had a wonderful life. crazy at times. but long and full of people who love him.  i hope he remembers that.  and i'm sorry i havent done a better job of letting him know that recently.  and for now, its still not too late.

so then there's my pop....who is the same figure to my boys as pappy was to me.  that guy that's always there.  he comes to the games and drops by the house unexpectedly.  and of course as teenagers, the boys think "oh, its just pop".  because he's always around.  but one day, he wont be.  and it wont be the same.  now my dad, he's  passionate about baseball.  he's the one who coached jake on his first travel team and who comes over every day to update us on the nationals.  not that anyone in this house watches baseball, but we love it for pop.  and yesterday, as we were all leaving pappy's house, he asked if anyone wanted to go to the game with him today....and jake jumped up and said "i do".  and you all KNOW that jake does NOT like baseball.  but he gets it.  and i'm so so glad.  because THAT makes all this ridiculous inner turmoil worth it.if my being a basketcase is making my boys pay more attention, then all i can say is GOOD!

"Families are the compass that guide us. They are the inspiration to reach great heights, and our comfort when we occasionally falter."~-Brad Henry ~

so today is good day.  actually its a great day.  none of the othe ridiculousness that stresses me has gone away. but today it doesnt matter.  and if i keep my head screwed on straight, tomorrow it wont matter either.  because what really matters...what SHOULD matter....is that we are moving in the right direction together.  and even if we aren't, we are still together.  and THAT is what matters most of all.

we are....

“Individually, we are one drop. Together, we are an ocean.”

Ryunosuke Satoro quotes

interestingly enough, i had the opportunity this weekend to reconnect with an incredible group of people that i went to school with....and it was such an amazing time, on several fronts.  and in terms of how i think about things, it just really reminded me that we are all a part of something bigger....usually lots of somethings.....after all, its our "groups" that help identify us.  its our relationships that help make us who we are.  and who we are is so much bigger than just our individual identities. in a crazy circular kind of way, we are ALL penn state.

now i know that sounds crazy, but hear me out.  in a larger sense, penn state is an institution of higher learning, at the center of an incredibly devisive controversy, wrapped in an historic athletic tradition. whether you are a football fan or not, chances are you have heard of joe paterno or the nittany lions somewhere along the way.  and the thread that runs thru that campus is the chant "we are......penn state" - you can't go anywhere that someone doesnt yell "we are" - and whoever is around yells "penn state".  on one level its a really cool tradition....but on a deeper level, its a philosophy - that each member is a part of the whole that makes penn state who they are.....and it takes each member to fully define the organization.  the fact that the horrible actions of the few have had such a negative impact on the community is in itself a tragedy, but it has also created the renewed opportunity to redefine what "we are" means. 

and what we are is so much more than one person.  that fact that billy obrien was named head coach at psu is what brought us all to the school the weekend. and obviously there is a spotlight on him - and incredible pressure - but even obie is NOT penn state...he is a part of the WE that will determine how that community grows and evolves.  and its pretty obvious from the picture, that he is bringing an awful lot of the good ole brown community with him.....this is where the WE in we are comes out.....

each person that makes up the community at large brings their own community with them.  and their own groups and experiences.  obie brings with him not only all of his football experience, but his family and friends and traditions....and all of the things that each of THOSE experiences meant to him.....penn state now has a whole lot of new england in it - from the accents down to the support system that followed obie from his home state and his alma mater.  and it follows that ALL of us that knew obie at brown brought our own experiences THERE....college is at its heart a giant mixing bowl where people from all walks and backgrounds are thrown together into one place in time.  they all take away different experiences and leave different parts of themselves behind.  but its another community that they will forever belong to.

before college, its high school and where you grow up that helps to shape you......i will always be a laplata warrior in my heart, just like i will always a brown bear. but even more than that i will always have my roots in southern maryland.....its those roots that define you from the beginning - and when you TAKE those pieces of yourself as you travel through your life, you are sharing parts of yourself that then become part of the larger "whole".....its the quirky small things (like the 10oz bud light that i took to the tailgate) and the larger cultural differences (ya'll) that both define where we are from, but also enlighten and broaden the base of the community.

ultimately this whole thing starts at home.....how i was raised, the rules my parents set up, how i was praised and rewarded - their expectations and my experiences are what initially shaped the woman i would become.  and THEIR experiences shaped the kind of parents that they would be.   its a neverending cycle that links us all.  its how a first generation college graduate from a middle class family in southern maryland would grow up to be friends with a legacy brown guy who would go on to take the reins at penn state.  its the common thread of all of our lives that brings us to the table of commonality. 

just like the feedback i've received this year has reminded me, we are all going through the same things - of course to varying degrees - but we are all just trying to be good people...raise good kids....make a  positive contribution to society....and to just be happy.

we are all mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers, friends, co-workers, teammates, alumni
we are all hard workers, support systems, community members
we are all hoping for the best, preparing for the future, making the most of every day.

WE ARE