i feel like i'm at that very interesting time in life when everyone i know is either getting divorced or separated. our kids are older, maybe we dont need each other as much as we used to....or maybe we are all just tired of each others company. i have no idea. but i'm telling you that there is an epidemic of skinny women around me - all looking fit and fabulous - and they all have one thing in common....and it isnt a great diet. and i have to say im totally torn over the whole thing - not that anyone gives a rats ass about how i feel about it or anything. i just find it somewhat puzzling. to hear them all talk, being single and dating is the best thing since sliced bread. and yet, all my 20 something friends still cant wait to find mr right so they can stop dating....its a vicious cycle. and clearly there is no mr right. ( i mean except for you, kris)
the other unspoken of part of this all is that there has to be SOME emotional devastation somewhere, right? because something is making these chics slim down.....and you cant be married to someone without lamenting the loss in some way. at least one would hope not.
"There is no remedy for love but to love more."-Thoreau
but like most negative things, something positive usually follows. and i find myself in the awesome position of attending my good friends second wedding this weekend. it has been such a pleasure watching her fall in love this time around. and its even more amazing to me that she was willing to put herself out there again. i guess it is true that all we really want is to love and be loved. i know that she and her new husband will be very happy together. and while i can be somewhat jealous of that new love feeling - and all those incredibly fun firsts - i also appreciate so much more where i am at the same time. marriage is not easy. any one who says it is, is a big fat liar. and mine, i hope like most anyway, has certainly not been a bed of sunlight and roses. all the time anyway. and i wonder if its normal to have the grass is greener syndrome at times like this.
i never had a big wedding. and i never really regretted that. although i DO regret that i dont have a beautiful wedding PICTURE. every time i see one, i think "damn". but seriously thats the only thing i wouldve wanted....and it seems a bit silly to spend all that money just so i can have a cool picture. but that's neither here nor there. whenever i'm out with my few remaining married friends, invariably the topic comes up. can you believe so and so just split up. have you seen her? she looks amazing! is THAT what it takes to get your ass back in shape? like the rest of the married population is STILL sitting on the couch eating bonbons, right? its crazy. ANYWAY....the flip side of that are the couples we know who made it through what i consider "the other side". they are the mostly empty nesters- kids in high school and college. the couples who have managed to make it work - thru the good, the bad and the ugly....and who are going through a renewal of their own. it seems to me that THIS - this time right now - is the hardest to make it through. and believe me, i pass no judgments.....i'm just observing. and trying to make it onto the next phase with my sanity intact!
On a cloudy night, when nothing seems above, still, there is love. Always love. For something, from someone. It's never done. Never. ~Jeb Dickerson
i think the most amazing thing is that whether or not you are starting over, or hanging in there, the most important thing is still love. love has so many different meanings and feelings - and obviously new love and old love are totally different. and while new love is exciting, old love is comforting. neither is better. they both just are. you have to embrace the feeling. nurture it. because its always always fragile. and remember that its always easier on the other side of the looking glass.
todays post is simply a reminder to be grateful for the love you have. in whatever form you have it. whether its new love, old love, friend love, kid love or anything else - just cherish it. because there is no greater gift you can give or receive.
i'm so excited to see the beginning of sams new journey. i cant wait to watch her step so joyfully into her future. and i cant help but appreciate where ive made it in mine.
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