a fork to the eyeballs

i cant think of anything more perfect than this for how i felt last weekend watching the RIDICULOUS judges NOT give out an award to the ONLY group that got a standing ovation during the SingStrong performances. now don't get me wrong, i know NOTHING about music. other than what i like or dont like.  but i feel like i'm a pretty good audience. i can tell when people are bored and when they are engaged.  and believe me, i am CERTAINLY at least slightly biased when it comes to UNPLUGGED - because my kid is the beatboxer and one of my best friends is the coach....so sue me.  with that being said, they were still the only group of 12 that got the crowd on their feet (without prompting).  and they didn't even place.  which can i say one more time is RIDICULOUS!

TO JUDGE: Verb

Form an opinion or conclusion about.

this is my issue.  and again, let me preface this with, i have ZERO background in things where you get a SCORE, as opposed to just WINNING.  sports are my area - and i wont even begin to bore you- or piss you off - with my opinion on what counts as a SPORT and what's a competition.....BUT clearly this music thing qualifies solidly in the COMPETITION category.  SO, the way you "win" is to have 4 strangers from various musical backgrounds "score" your team on completely subjective criteria.  which to my competitive soul makes absolutely no sense WHATSOEVER!!  i want it to be clear cut.  its like trying to get into college - its completely SUBJECTIVE!! and that totally does NOT work for me!! (obviously)

what if you just happen to get the asshole?  that one judge who had a bad day or doesnt like your costume (or whatever)?  what if you get a petty judge that doenst want to be upstaged (ahem)?  or what if they just dont have the same basic taste in music?  can you ever be FAIR when its your job to JUDGE someone else?  i hate that word, anyway. JUDGE.  now you know i'm not one of those everyone gets a trophy kind of people.  i BELIEVE that there are winners and losers when you compete. as there should be.  both teach good lessons.  HOWEVER, when some 3rd party gets to decide who wins and loses, i think it loses its impact.....because maybe we dont agree.  not that they care what "we" think - but it should. if you set yourself up as a JUDGE, you better be able to back it up.  your judgement should come with an explanation and a defense.  because no matter what, someone is going to think you are wrong.  that doesnt mean you are.  it just means you should be able to defend the position.  maybe those other 3 groups really were better than Unplugged.  i dont see how.  but again, i have NO musical background.  it just seems that when a decision leaves an audience in silence, maybe i'd put out some kind of technical reasoning. or maybe not.  clearly its the judges prerogative to tell us all to get fucked.  which is pretty much what they did!

which leads me to my next issue.  i LOVE music. LOVE LOVE LOVE it.  i was SO excited that luke decided to join Unplugged this year.  i was SO excited to go to SingStrong with him, and to watch all those amazing acapella groups perform.  and guess what?  i literally wanted to stab myself repeatedly most of the night.  it was AWFUL.  not bad.  not boring.  AWFUL.  like painful.  you know how when something doesnt quite live up to your expectations but you keep waiting for it to get better?  like that.  but worse.  because it never got better.  it was like one large punchline to the suckfest that was the day.  i actually spent the last hour of the "professional" concert deleting duplicate contacts from my phone.  seriously.  in between sending texts to everyone i could think of with snippets of the "professional" groups.  just to spread the wealth, so to speak.  i mean COME ON!  the totally sad part is, i'm super easy to please when it comes to music.  again - NO TALENT generally means i'm easily impressed.  if you can manage to bore ME with your music, you are working at it.  so what i came away from that experience with is this:  i obviously have NO IDEA what sounds good.  maybe i'm actually tone deaf or something.  which is news to me.  because prior to this past weekend, i would have said i not only have good taste in music, i would also have said i had a pretty good handle on what other people liked as well.  

you know how some people are armchair quarterbacks?  some people are obsessed with reality tv.  well me, i'm obsessed with singing shows.  i love them.  once again, because i have absolutely no ability myself, i am in awe of those who do have it.  i watched american idol (when i used to be good), i LOVED the sing off, and am obsessed with the Voice.  this SHOULD have been such a great event for me....come on SINGSTRONG?? of course i will love it.  and yet i didn't.  and i just cant figure out if its ME (which is quite possible), or the real "acapella" people are trying to "de-pitch perfect" their audience.  maybe the onset of GLEEKS and ACAPEOPLE pissed off the "serious" acapella people.  because i'm telling you what - they are taking themselves WAAAY too seriously these days.  it was like going to a showing of acapella as art.  im not sure we could have shoved a stick higher up the collective ass of this group of performers.  i mean i actually nodded off.  how bad is that? at a music performance?  ENTERTAIN ME.  jesus.  i'm sure i sound like a petulant child, but really, how hard is it to make music FUN??  Unplugged knows how to do it.  maybe that's the problem.   too much ACA AWESOME and not enough stilted marching.  the only other high school group that also was fun to watch, got zippy as well.  i feel like the judges were saying to the audience- we are penalizing the groups that entertain you, because clearly your pedestrian understanding of our art form is unacceptable.  and we are going to collectively bore you to tears to prove our point.

to which i say - BRAVO.  job well done.  i will never be back.

i feel like i should be able to take those judges with me to a marathon tball tournament.  just to pay them back. which is mean to the tballers, i know.  but you see my point.  what that professional concert needed was alcohol and hecklers.  both of which i could easily have provided, had i but known what i was in for!

There is sometimes a greater judgement shewn in deviating from the rules of art, than in adhering to them; and †there is more beauty in the works of a great genius who is ignorant of all the rules of art, than in the works of a little genius, who not only knows but scrupulously observes them. -Joseph Addison

the lesson the kids took away from this competition is that once again life is not fair.  but they knew that.  it doesnt make it any easier to take.  it just makes it true.  the good news is that its a singing competition and they ROCKED.  they uploaded their performance and have like 600 hits already.  the buzz they created is super and overall they know they killed it.  but like with everything else, someone elses "judgement" always makes you feel a little bad.  why didnt they like it?  what didnt they like about it?  its those kind of questions that linger.  but at the end of the day, the standing ovation means more than the trophy.  or at least it should.  because music should entertain people. at least that kind of music.  what it shouldn't do is make you want to jab a fork in your eyeballs over and over again.

note to self:  next time you go to a "competition", DON'T!