our share of the blame

jake is 6 in that picture. 6.  i can't even begin to imagine what kind of mental break it would take for anyone to look at a 6 year old and pull the trigger.  much less over and over and over again.  i can't begin to imagine the horror of the first responders and how you ever recover from the image of those small, innocent bodies.  and i can't even begin to imagine the parents and families of those children.  how you cope.  or even get thru the day -much less this holiday season.  how do you ever see another 6 year old and not think of your own?

there is nothing anyone can say or do to ever make this better.  nothing.  and like all of you, i can't seem to do anything but think about this.  what it means.  what i can do.  what part i can play in trying to make it make sense.  ultimately there isn't anything i can do for those parents.  or that community.  except participate in the discussion. watch the services.  make sure that as much as i can, i go thru it with them.  because thats not only the least i can do, but should be a requirement for all of us.  every single one of us has contributed in some way to the culture that makes an act like this possible. every single one of us.

Unity to be real must stand the severest strain without breaking.Mahatma Gandhi 

this is how i played a part.  i gave up on the guns.  when my older 2 kids were little, i had a very strict no gun policy in my house. we didn't buy them or accept them as gifts....we didn't play first person shooter games or go paint balling.  we didn't have airsoft guns or really even nerf guns.  just NO GUNS period. i felt like it sent the wrong message.  that it made guns acceptable for children.  took them out of the "scary/adult" range and brought them into the "fun/kid" world.  and i held fast to that.  NO GUNS.  i fought the fight with friends and relatives alike who argued that it was all in fun.  that kids had been playing with toy guns forever.  that it didn't mean anything.  that i was being ridiculous.  and i began to feel a bit ridiculous about it.

so then i caved. i figured it was up to me to TEACH my kids the difference.  surely they were smart enough to know the difference between real and fake.  if i just talked with them about the consequences and responsibility of REAL guns, then they could join in the fun.

THIS IS HOW I'M RESPONSIBLE

i allowed my personal views on guns to be swayed by the majority.  i bought into the "it's just for fun" mentality.  it isn't real.  it doesn't hurt anyone.  we know the difference.

clearly its not. and we don't.

There is a great streak of violence in every human being.  If it is not channeled and understood, it will break out in war or in madness.  ~Sam Peckinpah

we have become a society of apathy.  of the easy way.  we are so caught up and so busy that we don't take the time to focus on what is important.  what is right in front of us.  we buy happiness.  we ignore what we don't like.  we turn a blind eye to other people's problems.  we are a culture of the individual.  if i teach MY kids the "right" thing, then I've done my job.  when in reality, all we have done is ignore the bigger picture.  we have allowed commercialism to dictate our morals.  we have let our kids grow up in a culture where it is perfectly normal to sit in front of a screen and shoot people all day.  and then go outside and shoot each other with "fake" ammunition.  it is any wonder that there are people who grow up to NOT know the difference??

THIS IS HOW I'M RESPONSIBLE

i have actively participated in the desensitizing of our children.  do i believe that i have taught my kids the difference between real and fake?  yes i do.  does that matter?  not really.  it was an easy way for me to rationalize giving in.  my kids understand that "in real life" guns kill.  but its not real life, right?

shame on me.  shame on all of us.  shame of us for allowing our kids for ONE MINUTE to believe that guns are toys.  that killing people in games is okay.  that playing war doesn't have a lasting impact.

looking at that picture MAKES ME SICK.  yes i know its a fake gun. as a matter of fact we don't even have any ammunition.  another nice rationalization.  i have gone my merry way allowing myself to believe that josh using these fake guns to make his FAKE movies was fine. no one is getting hurt.  its actually creative of him.  a means of expression.  and while some of that might be true, if i view it in light of our CULTURE and what just happened - all it is is another means of desensitizing our kids.

i'm not going to debate anyone on the merits of gun control. or hunting.  you can rationalize anything you want in whatever way you want.  criminals will get weapons.  people kill people.  everyone is right.  it just depends on the angle you are looking from.  but this i do know.....we have made killing a game. and for that we are all guilty.

Nonviolence means avoiding not only external physical violence but also internal violence of spirit.  You not only refuse to shoot a man, but you refuse to hate him.  ~Martin Luther King, Jr.

 this is where we start.  as a society. in our homes.  we need to wake up to the culture we have created.  a culture of violence. where first person shooter games are the most popular.  where mixed martial arts has taken beating someone up for money to a whole new level.  where we are so UNAFFECTED by the sight of blood, that our tv shows and movies are drowning in it.  

we need to WAKE UP.  we need to talk to our kids TODAY.  we need to make newtown a rallying cry for CHANGE.  there is absolutely nothing we can do to make the deaths of those 26 people any better.  nothing.  but if this tragedy can serve as a wake up call, then it will not have been in vain.  if we do NOTHING, then we should all be willing to take our share of the blame.

“Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it’s time to pause and reflect.” -Mark Twain