..i am incredibly lucky that my kids are all gifted with big beautiful brains....and i really honestly dont let them take it for granted. we all know kids who really struggle with school, and every time someone in my house complains about school work, they know they are going to get the "just be glad that you are irritated because you dont WANT to do it, not because you dont know HOW to do it" lecture.with that being said, i had to laugh at myself yesterday because, while sitting at my computer i got one of those updates from edline.....which i usually absolutely ignore - but felt like i should check just because its probably final grades.....and then a room full of teenagers hears me yell this...."jake bayer, do you actually have a B in statistics" - like someone had just admitted to ax murdering one of our pets....INCREDULOUS.....and what i hear from the other room.....complete SILENCE - like did your mother just YELL at you because you have a B - is she out of her MIND??
and in my defense, it wasnt so much a YELL, as a WTF moment....jake bayer NEVER has B's...never. as a matter of fact this came back to haunt us tonight because the same statistics teacher (who apparently does not like the new fangled edline system) sent his grade last semester before importing the last test - so his report card DID say "b" - for the very first time ever.....when in fact it was actually an A.....why is this an issue? because tonight at the underclass awards, for the first time in the history of the earth, jake bayer did not get recognized for all As....and he was PISSED!! as he should be - we have the handy dandy little paper from school proving the correct grade and that it was changed - but clearly it wasnt changed in the system....and so, alas - he had to take a ration of shit from all of those people who KNOW he ALWAYS gets all As.....and he was embarassed....which is RIDICULOUS!!! but true.
because what is NORMAL in this household may not be normal in yours - but it IS normal here....we expect amazing grades - because our kids are smart - and we know they are smart - not getting good grades shows lack of effort....again, not that this is something we have ever had to deal with (thankfully), but its not meant to make anyone else feel any less about what they do....its just how it is here. we not only expect them to get good grades because they are smart - we expect them to do the work.....because maybe in 5th grade getting good grades is all about making your parents happy and getting a cool reward - but in 11th grade, its all about determining YOUR OWN future - and providing YOURSELF with the best possible options.....and i'm so pleased that BOTH of my high schoolers are taking it seriously. lucas got the principals award for ENGLISH....which made us both laugh, since he considers it his worst (and least favorite) subject.....and he looked at me and said - i know you love it ms english major, but the only reason i got it was because i have the highest GPA - and that's just because i'm the only one who turns in all my work.really? i find that amazing - but i'm not really surprised......i think we are living in a culture where just getting by has become the norm.....and i find that pretty sad. just because my kids ARE smart means that they DON'T get off the hook - they absolutely NEED to do ALL of their work because a) its expected and b) they understand it....there is ZERO excuse for not doing it.....but i'm realizing that alot of their friends out there who also get it, dont feel like they need to do their work, because they are smart enough to pass the tests without it.....which i'm sure is true.....i just find it sad.
It is better to have a fair intellect that is well used than a powerful one that is idle.
bryant mcgill
so really the theme that i think runs thru this house - and clearly is a big one with me is just DO THE WORK! do what you are supposed to do, do what you are capable of, do what is expected of you, do all that you know you can......because to do LESS is to BE less than what you really are. i believe that the very best thing we can give our kids is their work ethic.....that doesnt mean that they will be perfect - it doesnt mean that they will always do their best - but it means that they will RECOGNIZE it either way. if you bring a B home in this house, i'm betting you can pinpoint what you DIDN'T do - or at least didnt do as well as you should have. and that's okay. i understand that we cant all give 100% all the time - CLEARLY i'm living that example right now.....but i understand it, and i accept the consequences.....and THAT is what i hope i'm teaching my kids. everything - and i mean absolutely everything - in some way is a choice, or a reflection of a choice that we have made somewhere along the way.....accepting that is how we embrace our circumstance.
i would say that my kids deserve to be proud of THEMSELVES...of course i am proud of them - but more importantly, they know that at this time, right now, they are making the right choices for their future.....and because its THEIR CHOICE and THEIR FUTURE.....they get to take the credit for it......which has to be so SATISFYING!!! i hope that when they look back, my kids realize that yes, they were blessed with intelligence, but more importantly they EARNED the knowledge that went along with it.
at this time of the year when we see our friends graduate, we also see all the "future" quotes....one of the best has always been "BE THE CHANGE YOU MOST WANT TO SEE IN THE WORLD"...... what i hope we are getting thru is that you can't BE the change if you don't know what it is, or if you aren't willing to WORK to make it happen. nobody gets to just "be" the change...change takes work. and we all DO have the ability to work for it.
We all have a path to take; sometimes it's hidden under the weeds, so you might have to work a little. ~Mike Dolan
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