It's never easy to be in the middle. of anything. we avoid getting stuck in the middle of situations pretty much at all costs. imagine being born there. forever in the middle. how you deal with that is the reflection of your character when you are born a middle child. it's never just you. and its amplified when you are all boys. how do you make your mark as the 2nd son? you arent the first to do anything, or the last. you become defined by how you carve out your own place in the MIDDLE of the chaos around you.
And chaos certainly describes our house. from the very first, Luke has had to establish his position. he is surrounded by loud, dramatic & fiesty at every turn. he is the CALM in our storm. Luke grounds us as a family. He is the most consistent, and the most strong. He literally defines the word UNFLAPPABLE. which is a gift around here, believe me. All of our kids are amazing. We love them all, but each is unique. It's the quiet ones that often are underestimated. Or under appreciated. Luke's approach, i think, has always been to go his own way. he has been his own man from birth. everyone's favorite picture and story of luke is from PRE-SCHOOL. he did NOT want his picture taken. and in his own, already ridiculously stubborn way, he made it known. when i FINALLY got him (yes, my 4 year old) to agree to actually go to school on picture day, he said "fine. but i'm not going to smile".
and here you have it......
this is what we got back from picture day....THAT LOOK, RIGHT THERE. THAT is Lucas Bayer. I meant what i said. PERIOD. i think the best part about that picture, aside from how damn cute it is, is that it absolutely captured a moment in time that somehow defined my boy. he is respectful. he will do what you ask, even if he doesnt want to. but he is always going to find a way to let you know how he really feels about it. never ever underestimate him.
There is no road too long to the man who advances deliberately and without undue haste; there are no honors too distant to the man who prepares himself for them with patience. Jean De La Bruyere
Slow & Steady wins the race. Luke is the master of that. You can count on him to get done what needs to be done 100% of the time. He is just going to do it in his own way. and on his own time. trying to speed him along is like banging your head against a rock. repeatedly. zero fun. and totally ineffective. and the best part is that he enjoys watching you try. especially when it comes to his brothers. they do everything they can think of to fire him up. sometimes they even succeed. but it usually doesnt end well. i think people mistake luke alot. they think he is quiet or shy. and he absolutely isnt. what he is, is PATIENT. he bides his time. he's learned that from a life of just waiting out his brothers. EVENTUALLY they run out of steam. and that's when he gets you. Luke is one of the funniest people i know. he has an infectious laugh and a wicked sense of humor. you just have to wait for it. and a lot of people just dont.
we live in a world of NOW NOW NOW. Luke lives in a world of whenever. he was impossible to punish as a child because he just didnt care a whole lot about things. or going anywhere. or playing video games. he was, and still is, content with himself. if i said, go to your room, he would say "ok" - and go take a nap. LAID BACK at its finest. frustrating as a parent. but what an awesome way to handle stress. it's like he totally understands that he does something wrong, and accepts whatever the consequence is. no harm, no foul mom. you can see in his shrug that he just GETS IT. why fight it?
this is not to say luke is perfect. although i think he is pretty darn close. he is wickedly smart, and ended junior year tied at #1 in his class. when you ask him if he wants to be valedictorian, his answer is, i don't really care. and he doesn't. labels mean nothing to him. he KNOWS he's smart. he has nothing to prove. and THIS is what i feel the most pride in him for. in this age of validation in every form, luke doesn't need it. his quiet confidence SHINES from him in every way. he knows who he is and what he wants to accomplish. he applied to ONE school. who does that? because he knew it was the right fit, and has nothing to prove to anyone but himself.
No one saves us but ourselves. No one can and no one may. We ourselves must walk the path. Buddha
today is his 18th birthday. the beginning of his "adult" life. and while graduation looms on the horizon, this isn't the blog for that. this is about appreciating all the joy he has brought to us throughout his childhood. and recognizing what makes him completely unique. lLuke literally rises above the craziness. he blocks the noise and gets it done. whatever IT is. he is someone you can count on 100% of the time. i dont think there's a better thing to be able to say about someone.
today i just want to say thank you, Lucas. for always being YOU. for doing your own thing. being your own man. i know we don't always agree. i know your brothers drive you absolutely crazy. but we all love you. and we appreciate you. most of all we SEE you. we KNOW it's not easy always being in the middle. other people may compare you. but we don't. we don't need to. because you are, always have been, and always will be YOU. and you absolutely ROCK. 100% of the time.
The greatness of a man is not in how much wealth he acquires, but in his integrity and his ability to affect those around him positively. - bob marley
luke, you are already a great man. and i love you more than i can possibly say.
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